Table of Contents

CONTENTS PROLOGUE: IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS A FAT CHICK ................................................. 9 Th e Rules for Fat Chicks ............................................................... 9 PART ONE: FAT CHICKS DON'T CYCLE ........................ 11 1. Dear Santa: Gimme a Trike or I'm Going to the Tabloids .. 13 2. Th e Trike Maker and the Chariot of Fire ............................ 21 3. Not My Dream .................................................................... 33 4. Soft Chains Are the Hardest to Break ................................. 41 5. On the Road ........................................................................ 51 6. Th e Usual Questions ............................................................ 61 7. Low Level Ecstasy ............................................................... 69 8. Th e Most Enjoyable Christmas in the History of Backpacking .............................................. 75 9. Th e Most Disappointing New Year's Eve in the History of Backpacking .............................................. 83 10. Domestic Bliss With Ron .................................................... 93 11. Th e Place Whose Name I Dare Not Speak ........................ 103 12. Humanus Insanus Extremus ................................................. 113 13. Okay, Maybe I Could Ride to Albany ............................... 121 PART TWO: FAT CHICKS DON'T HIKE ....................... 131 14. Fat Chick vs. Christophe the Crucifi er: Th e Battle Between Good and Evil - Episode I ................ 133 15. Fat Chick vs. Little Chinese Lady: Houston, We Have a Problem ........................................... 141 16. Change of Plan .................................................................. 147 17. No Damn 2 Minute Noodles! ............................................ 159 18. If You Go Out in the Woods Today ................................. 167 19. How to Become One of Bob Cooper's Stories ................... 173 20. Th e Power Point in the Bush ............................................. 183 21. Be Careful What You Wish For ........................................ 191 22. Fat Chick's Final Word on Carrying a House on Your Back ........................................ 199 PART THREE: FAT CHICKS DON'T PADDLE (YET) ... 209 23. Fat Chick vs. Christophe the Crucifi er: Th e Battle Between Good and Evil - Episode II ............... 211 24. Domestic Bliss with Iggy ................................................... 215 25. "You'll Never Get Fifteen Kilos Onto a Pushbike, Love" ...... 223 26. Humpty Doo, Kakadu, and One Pissed-Off Saltwater Crocodile ............................................................ 229 27. Th e Local Fauna ................................................................. 239 28. Th e Most Impressive Tan Line in the History of Cycle Touring ......................................... 251 29. Old Farts Who Haven't Read the Bloody Memo .............. 259 30. Mary Lou and Mary Kate's Excellent Adventure ............... 265 31. Not Most People ................................................................ 275 32. Secret Men's Business ........................................................ 283 33. Never Attempt Full Body Wrestling While Mercury's in Retrograde ..................................................... 291 34. Th e Cows Are Loose! ......................................................... 303 35. Fat Chick vs. Christophe the Crucifi er: Th e Battle Between Good and Evil - Episode III ............. 313 EPILOGUE: IN THE END, THERE WAS STILL A FAT CHICK ....................................................... 317 Th e Winner of the Battle Between Good and Evil ................... 320 JUST FOR THE RECORD .......