Review
I first met Nikki in 2011 when she came to facilitate my senior leadership team meeting at the company where I was the General Manager. Her leadership perspective and mindset were quite provocative to me at the time - mecoming from a military and F500 background. Once I really began to understand the value that she brings to the table, I ended up inviting her back several more times to continue her work with me and my team.In her book, Instinctive Leadership, Nikki puts to rest the old image of a model business leader--deep expert on all subjects, the singular source of strategy, knower of all things -which is now recognized as an anachronism in today'sworld. In its place, she introduces an array of new and different ways of thinking about how we step up and lead.One of the precepts in which I know she wholeheartedly supports, and the foundation upon which many of her insights in this book are based, is that modern business leaders have a single task: To create alignment and clarity across their organization so that every individual can perform at his/her best. It may seem easy, but it's not. Nikki's observations and insights help to increase awareness of the key behaviors and attitudes that we, as senior leaders, sometimes miss--and need most.Throughout the pages of Instinctive Leadership, Nikki reminds us why today's successful business leader needs a number of skills that even in the present time are not always widely recognized or acknowledged, and formally taught even less. Deep emotional intelligence. Excellent listening skills. Superb relationship skills. An authentic, humble and transparent personal style. An appetite for feedback and self-improvement. Explicit, public accountability. It's all there in her book, explained simply and clearly.Nikki's perspective and insight will assuredly inform and enlighten leaders regardless of their current skillset--just as it did me. I know firsthand that there is always room for each of us to improve regardless of our current capabilities, so I encourage and challenge you, in the context of this book and the insights Nikki has so thoughtfully brought to light, to see where you might improve your own leadership skills. Her sensitivity, candor and refreshing approach makes it an easy, yet powerful read.Jay Emmet, former General Manager,OpenMarket-Amdocs, Forbes Global 2000
From the Author
I'm not the type of person who devotes a portion of each day to promote myself on social media. But when colleagues and friends said, "Nikki, you need to build more of a presence." I listened. One day, out of the blue, I was flipping through some of the images I had taken during my many Equine Assisted Development sessions, trying to find just the right one to post as a promotion on LinkedIn or Facebook. As I pondered the chosen image, a phrase jumped into my head, putting words to the picture. That happened again and again. I posted a few online and people responded. So, I decided to create a collection and publish them.Ironically, horses were never a part of my life until I hit my early forties when they came trotting into my world. Although it took several years before I began to understand just what horses represent for me and others, their presence had already deeply manifested in both my personal and professional life. Once I understood the power of what I was learning and what others too can learn from spending time with them, I sought more information throughbooks, lectures, and educational courses. I studied with Linda Kohanov, author of "The Power of the Herd," "The Tao of Equus," "Riding Between the Worlds," among others. I also studied with Jackie Lowe Stevenson, at her Spirit of Leadership" center, Lisa Walters, author, and founder of the Equuasatori Center, Chris Irwin, author of "Horses Don't Lie" and more. Eventually, I learned of Kerin & Gerhard Krebs' EAHAE program (European Association of Horse Assisted Education) and soon became a licensed HorseDream partner, and the country ambassador to Israel.As an EAHAE member and licensed partner, I began coaching and facilitating team development with horses as an adjunct program to my already full consulting practice.Integrating what I have learned in the presence of horses has been an ongoing, evolutionary and revolutionary process that continues to shape how I view leadership--personal, professional, team. As leaders, we are all on a questto shed light on our shadows--to show up in all our brilliance--clear, true and open. To do that we must confront those shadows, daring to be vulnerable and willing to address what we find. Horses are the epitome of presence--living in the "here and now." Unless unfortunate circumstances have stolen their natural instincts, they "see" through to our core and respond accordingly--often before we are ready to admit what's inside--even to ourselves. And not everyone is ready. But that's okay because eventually, the experience seeps into our consciousness when we are open to whatever personal and unique message is there.As time passes, I appreciate more and more the courage it takes to look deep within to celebrate all our strengths and qualities, and to face the gaps of which we are well aware, as well as those we've yet to discover. The path is not always easy, and it pays to have some guidance and support. Mine comes from several people.From the horse world, there is my older sister, Candace, who urged me to explore my love of horses by sponsoring my first months of lessons and answering my never-ending questions. She continues to be one of my biggest fans, speaking my accolades whenever she can. And then my dear friend, colleague, and mentor, Anat Shalev, continues to challenge me and open my mind to yet more ways of deepening my connection with horses.And from the business side, I have had the good fortune of traveling this journey with my friend and sister, LeahGrace Kaylor, who has remained by my side throughout the past 60 years, encouraging and guiding me from a fledgling consultant to the seasoned professional I have become today.Lastly, my husband, Itzik who has never said "no"--not to the riding lessons, not to my first horse, not to buying and establishing our little farm, not to the four horses for whom we provide love and care.So, my quest continues for my clients and me. In these pages, you will get a taste of what these magnificent animals make possible for us to see if, and when we are ready.
From the Inside Flap
As a child growing up in Maine, we had dogs, cats, guinea pigs, fish, and birds. My parents gave up their horses before I was born. Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to experience horses until I was well into adulthood, firmly entrenched in my career as a leadership and management coach and consultant.For my 40th birthday, my sister, knowing how I loved horses, sent me enough money to cover a dozen riding lessons. And my husband decided I would enjoy going for a trail ride. Little did we know that horses would become a presence around which our lives would revolve, both personally and professionally--a presence that stole our time and money, but gave back so much more in return.Within 18 months of that fateful day, I bought Piloni. A dark and handsome horse, with intelligent eyes and the kindest of hearts, he slowly changed my world and opened my eyes, and my heart in ways I hadn't known was possible.Piloni is the ultimate leader. Quiet and gentle, he is kind to even the smallest of creatures. He generously shares his feed, never shows aggression, keeps watch over the others and rarely if ever, gets rattled. When it's needed, he will put other horses in their place with a quick turn of the head and flattening of the ears. But he never chases, never bites, nor hurts the others. There is no need. He has their respect, and they trust him to keep the order, even though his sight is compromised.He has only one eye. His strength comes, not from who he is on the outside, but who he is on the inside. When I am with him, he demands that I show up "clean," with no masks or filters. Every day he reminds me to leave behind my attitude. He reminds me that, since he is mine and I am his, there must always be mutual respect.So it is to you, Piloni that I have dedicated this book. You are my equine friend, mentor, and guide.
From the Back Cover
Leadership is tricky. Nothing is constant. Things change from day to day and moment tomoment. Often, the best "tool" we haveis our own intuition, which is based partlyon the wisdom of our experiences, and partly on puregut instinct.
In my near 30 years as acorporate facilitator and leadership development coach and consultant, I'vefound the most effective leaders are those who can look deep inside themselvesfor their own "truths" and then courageously express those truths to colleagues,clients, and employees. But that's not easy, and many of us could use some help.
I found my path to leadershipthrough horses. Horses seem to personifythe behaviors of successful leaders, andin their presence, we seem called upon to be our best selves. Sharing space with them somehow draws usinward to a place where we can strip away our masks in privacy and look uponour thoughts, feelings, and behaviorswithout filters. Through self-awareness,we can begin testing those insights when we feel ready and able.
Over the years I have collectedcountless photographs of people and horses, which upon reflection, epitomizemany of the intuitive insights I have experienced either for myself or seen through the eyes of leaders andteams with whom I have had the privilege to work.
Within these pages, you'll find acollection of some of the most valuable leadership insights shared by clientslike eBay, Amdocs, Teva, Avaya, HP, and more, andexpressed through the behaviors of our little horse "herd." You'lllaugh, and you'll learn, you'll smile, and you'll wonder.
And then you'll want to head outto the nearest barn to experience it for yourself!
