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Paul Mathews
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We Have Lost The Pelicans: A Humorous British Mystery Kindle Edition

by Paul Mathews (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
3.8 out of 5 stars 1,236 ratings

London, 2044. The St James’ Park pelicans have vanished – a day before Britain's rookie celebrity president unveils the Republic's new pelican flag. Meanwhile, British intelligence uncovers a possible anti-Government plot. Who are the bird-nappers? And what evil geniuses lurk behind the secret messages? Britain’s hungriest secret agent, Howie Pond – licence to lunch – reluctantly agrees to try and find out.

Howie’s newshound fiancée, Britt, has a secret mission of her own – to identify the mysterious owner of Windsor Castle. That means calling on the help of her straight-talking American alter ego – the appropriately named Pellie Cann.

And to add to the chaos, our leading lovebirds are supposed to be getting married tomorrow...

Triple Amazon US #1 Best Seller in British Humor & Satire, Dark Comedy and Political Humor

We Have Lost The Pelicans is a very funny novel packed with dry British humour, quirky characters, subtle satire, exciting action, and a double mystery that will keep you guessing. Experience the sights, sounds and secrets of 2040s London in this great British comedy-thriller!

What The Reviews Say:

◆ "Fabulous book for all the people who enjoy thrilling stories and loads of comedy."

◆ "Highly entertaining and fast-paced read for futuristic mystery lovers...charged with a ribald dry sense of humor."

◆ "Do yourself a favor and purchase a copy for a refreshing, enjoyable read on your commute! It will brighten your day and leave you smiling."

◆ "Anyone who enjoys a nice feel good book will love We Have Lost The Pelicans. It's funny and quirky. I love the characters but especially Howie."

◆ "You know how sometimes you love a book so much that you can't stop reading, then when you finish, you are mad at yourself for reading it too fast? That's how Paul Mathews' books are. The characters from his first book return and quickly find themselves in non-stop madness. I was trying so hard not to break out in giggles, the gentleman next to me on a plane asked if I was OK. That's the sign of a great book."

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  1. Book 2 of 5
    We Have Lost
  2. Print length
    314 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Publication date
    December 25, 2016
  5. File size
    658 KB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
    Enabled
  8. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Before giving up his job in London for a life of writing, Paul Mathews was a government press officer for sixteen years. He has also worked in public relations and as an accountant.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B01MU4IFYS
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ December 25, 2016
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ 1st
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 658 KB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 314 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Book 2 of 5 ‏ : ‎ We Have Lost
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.8 out of 5 stars 1,236 ratings

About the author

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Paul Mathews

Paul Mathews

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Paul Mathews is a quite funny British guy whose sharp, satirical – often surreal – sense of humour has been honed during nearly half a century of not taking life too seriously. He gains inspiration from his love of good food, Earl Grey tea, four-legged animals & the quirks and quibbles of British life. You can visit his website at www.quitefunnyguy.com. Or not. Whatever.

Customer reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
1,236 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book's humor witty and appreciate its well-developed characters and writing style. Moreover, they consider it a light read that's enjoyable on commutes, with one customer noting its perfectly paced narrative. However, the story quality receives mixed reactions, with some finding it intriguing while others describe it as boring.

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37 customers mention "Humor"29 positive8 negative

Customers find the book humorous, describing it as a fun mystery with witty and amusing content.

"...The story lines are fun, and the humor will make you laugh out loud at times. I am waiting for #4. Thank you, Mr. Mathews." Read more

"This was a really fun and funny book with a plot line that kept me pretty intrigued from beginning to end...." Read more

"This was a fun book to read, but not what I really expected. Good humor and good character portrayals, and not at all predictable. Enjoy" Read more

"...The humor is subtle and the character is reasonably predictable. It is a bit better if you follow the series...." Read more

22 customers mention "Readability"22 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read, describing it as a light and enjoyable read, particularly suitable for commuting.

"...all three of the "We Have Lost the ..." books, and they started out good and are getting better...." Read more

"...This is a really good book with a good sense of British humor. I thoroughly enjoyed it!..." Read more

"...Mildly amusing, but not all that funny. Still, a good escapist read, enough so that I've read most in the series" Read more

"...I purchased all the books and thoroughly enjoyed them. I related to Howie Pond and found him to be a believable character...." Read more

9 customers mention "Character development"9 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the well-developed characters in the book, with one customer noting how the narrative alternates between two main characters.

"...The characters are 3-dimensional, well developed, likable and consistent throughout...." Read more

"...The characters are well developed and there is a genuine mystery involved. This is a really good book with a good sense of British humor...." Read more

"...Good humor and good character portrayals, and not at all predictable. Enjoy" Read more

"Interesting characters, especially Britt and Howie...." Read more

8 customers mention "Writing quality"8 positive0 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the book, with one customer noting the author's tongue-in-cheek humor and another appreciating how well the main characters are developed.

"...titles sound, but it is a fun read, and Paul Matthews writes his main characters well enough that you start to feel like you know them." Read more

"...Mr. Matthews is an insightful writer that is able to "flavor" his books with just the right amount of British humor...." Read more

"...Sausages, doughnuts, Guinness...all my favorite food groups. Well written, perfectly paced, nice subplots, and perfectly tied together, like a..." Read more

"...The writing is fine and the Pelicans seem to be OK. Not my cup of tea." Read more

7 customers mention "Pacing"7 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the pacing of the book, with one noting its refreshing approach to conventions and another highlighting its futuristic setting.

"...make gentle fun of themselves, their government, and their conventions is refreshing and shows a healthy national self confidence...." Read more

"Interesting, a little too repetitive with some of the food stuff, but good story! Look forward to next book! Thanks" Read more

"The second book in the series ... and another quick, enjoyable read...." Read more

"I really enjoyed this book. I love the futuristic setting and political humor. It is light reading and really funny...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Gloria F. Witham
    4.0 out of 5 stars An enjoyable English mystery, full of fun, gentle jabs and sharp wit.
    Reviewed in the United States on July 20, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    I have read all three of the "We Have Lost the ..." books, and they started out good and are getting better. The British willingness to make gentle fun of themselves, their government, and their conventions is refreshing and shows a healthy national self confidence. I wish we still had that here in the "New States". The characters are 3-dimensional, well developed, likable and consistent throughout. The story lines are fun, and the humor will make you laugh out loud at times. I am waiting for #4. Thank you, Mr. Mathews.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • AMOKArts
    5.0 out of 5 stars I found this book to be very funny and entertaining. Just remember it's the second in the series
    Reviewed in the United States on November 20, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    This was a really fun and funny book with a plot line that kept me pretty intrigued from beginning to end. The characters are well developed and there is a genuine mystery involved. This is a really good book with a good sense of British humor. I thoroughly enjoyed it! The only comment I would give a potential reader is due to the promotion I received on my Kindle, I mistakenly thought this to be the first book in the series. For the most part it stands alone and I had no problem following the plot, but there were allusions to the first book that made me wish I had read We Have Lost the President first. Oh well, I'll pick that up next
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  • Natalie Bartlett
    3.0 out of 5 stars Fun read,
    Reviewed in the United States on October 27, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    This was a fun book to read, but not what I really expected. Good humor and good character portrayals, and not at all predictable. Enjoy
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  • Nelda
    4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting characters
    Reviewed in the United States on September 4, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Interesting characters, especially Britt and Howie. They have too much going on between investigating Windsor Castle ownership and missing Pelicans to get to their own wedding, or so it would seem. Mildly amusing, but not all that funny. Still, a good escapist read, enough so that I've read most in the series
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  • Carol J.
    5.0 out of 5 stars fun, light read
    Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    I liked the "we have lost" series. I purchased all the books and thoroughly enjoyed them. I related to Howie Pond and found him to be a believable character. The humor was witty, funny, tongue in cheek, with some underlying satire. The plot was intriguing and the additional characters added fullness to the story. The humor is subtle and the character is reasonably predictable. It is a bit better if you follow the series. As for Howie liking donuts too much, he is not alone. My sweeties eyes glaze over just thinking of a donut.
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  • sunshine
    2.0 out of 5 stars Mildly amusing but mostly silly I did not like it very much
    Reviewed in the United States on August 14, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Mildly amusing but mostly silly I did not like it very much. I liked it well enough to finish but I will not be reading anymore books by that author. I only bought it in the first place because I like pelicans
    One person found this helpful
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  • Amazon Customer
    3.0 out of 5 stars Alternate Title: Things that happen while Howie eats.
    Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Maybe it's because I haven't read the first book in this series, but I found this story a bit hard to stay interested in. Very little character development made caring what happens to them difficult. Howie seems like a competent individual who would be on top of the world we're it not for his inability to resist donuts and/or bratwurst. That's literally the entirity of his existence in this novel.
    It could have been worse but it could have been so much better...
    One person found this helpful
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  • Barb L
    4.0 out of 5 stars Good read
    Reviewed in the United States on February 26, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Interesting, a little too repetitive with some of the food stuff, but good story! Look forward to next book! Thanks
    One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Phil
    5.0 out of 5 stars Another triumph of wit and adventure for Paul Matthews.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 4, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    With an important presidential press conference planned for Friday in St James’ Park and his own wedding that same evening, life looks rosy for presidential spokesperson Howie Pond. However there is a mysterious turn of events when the park’s Pelicans suddenly disappear. As the Pelicans are such a strong symbol of the new republic, Howie is determined to find out what’s happened to them to try and determine if there is anything sinister going on. Over the next 48 hours Howie (and his fiancé, Britt) go on (separate) journeys of discovery that could ultimately change the course of history for the republic.
    A brilliant, witty, follow up to Paul’s debut e-book “We have lost the President”. We meet familiar characters from the first book and some new characters too. Good old Brian, the loveable (but very stubborn) auto-tech is back, but can he help save the day? Paul has a great writing style that is so easy to read and the way he describes the characters make you feel like you instantly know them, even the ones that only have a small cameo role.
    Can’t wait for the next one in the series.
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  • Jan O'Malley
    5.0 out of 5 stars Another delightful romp!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 5, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Another delightful romp from Paul Mathews and a sequel to We Have Lost The President. Set in a future Republican Britain, our hero & heroine are planning for their wedding which begins a touch doomed. The plaiting of plot lines are fun and well crafted. It is politics, relationships & pelicans rolled up & served together in a tasty tale. Thanks Paul - now get on with writing the next book!
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  • JONNO WILSON
    5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put it down
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 1, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    The second book in this series is an entertaining and engaging story that I loved reading. The world that Paul Matthews has created is full of likeable characters, funny quirks and I can't wait for the final installment. The plot moves quickly and there are plenty of twists and turns to keep you hooked until the end.
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