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Widowish: A Memoir Paperback – February 1, 2021
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Melissa Gould’s hopeful memoir of grieving outside the box and the surprising nature of love.
When Melissa Gould’s husband, Joel, was unexpectedly hospitalized, she could not imagine how her life was about to change. Overwhelmed with uncertainty as Joel’s condition tragically worsened, she offered him the only thing she could: her love and devotion. Her dedication didn’t end with his death.
Left to resume life without her beloved husband and raise their young daughter on her own, Melissa soon realized that her and Joel’s love lived on. Melissa found she didn’t fit the typical mold of widowhood or meet the expectations of mourning. She didn’t look like a widow or act like a widow, but she felt like one. Melissa was widowish.
Melissa’s personal journey through grief and beyond includes unlikely inspiration from an evangelical preacher, the calming presence of some Real Housewives, and the unexpected attention of a charming musician.
A modern take on loss, Widowish illuminates the twists of fate that break our world, the determination that keeps us moving forward, and the surprises in life we never see coming.
- Print length219 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateFebruary 1, 2021
- Dimensions5.5 x 1 x 8.25 inches
- ISBN-101542018765
- ISBN-13978-1542018760
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Editorial Reviews
Review
An Amazon Best Book of the Month: Biographies & Memoirs
“Television writer Gould’s gripping debut memoir captures the traumatic experience of suddenly becoming a young widow…Her narrative is remarkable in how she skillfully dissects the day-to-day minutiae of grief, particularly the strange ways in which surrounding herself with community provided comfort but also reminded her of what she lost…Gould brings a unique vulnerability to this memoir that will encourage readers to hold their loved ones closer and celebrate life.” —Publishers Weekly
“An award-winning screenwriter’s account of how she survived the unexpected death of her beloved husband and learned to navigate life on her own…The main strength of this memoir is Gould’s insight into the impact that spousal loss has on personal identity…Gould’s book will appeal to women seeking to understand the meaning of widowhood. A candid…memoir of coping with grief and moving forward.” —Kirkus Reviews
“Melissa’s young husband gets bitten by a mosquito in their backyard pool in L.A. and somehow catches West Nile virus. He tragically dies, leaving Melissa behind to pick up the pieces of her life, raise their young daughter, and find herself—and love—again in this relatable, unforgettable, funny (yes, funny) read.” —Good Morning America
“An impressively eloquent, deftly written, exceptionally candid personal story of love and loss and adaptation, Widowish: A Memoir [is] a truly memorable read from cover to cover. While especially recommended for community library Contemporary American Biography collections, and unreservedly commended to the attention of anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one in this age of pandemic.” —Midwest Book Review
“This memoir by a woman whose husband falls ill and succumbs to the West Nile virus after getting bitten by a mosquito by their pool in California is one of my recent favorites. A medical odyssey, parenthood, friendship, a new love affair and a sense of humor combine to make the author someone you want to hug and befriend.” —Zibby Owens, Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books
“In Widowish, Melissa Gould takes readers on her journey through grief in all its complexity, reminding us, in the end, of our endless capacity for love.” —Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
“Widowish is an unputdownable modern love story, the kind you don’t ever want to end. Except when it does, Melissa Gould has given us a transformational tale of modern loss and how grieving doesn’t always have to look the way we thought. One of my favorite grief memoirs to date.” —Claire Bidwell Smith, author of Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief
“No one gets through this life without suffering some kind of loss, and Melissa Gould shares her journey with honesty, humor, and surprising insights. I read it straight through and now want regular updates on her life. Widowish is going to break your heart in the best way possible. I love this book!” —Annabelle Gurwitch, author of I See You Made an Effort and You’re Leaving When?
“In Widowish, you can acutely feel Melissa Gould’s struggle to maintain normalcy as her husband slips away. This book is a brave and powerful examination of all the ‘shoulds’ that sometimes get in the way of our forward movement and evolution. I found myself rooting for Melissa the whole time.” —Vanessa McGrady, author of Rock Needs River
“A personal and heartfelt memoir that will inspire and give hope to anyone grieving the loss of a loved one or having to make the hard decisions when someone may be going through a medical condition that isn’t going to get better. Melissa’s courage and warmth will make the reader feel like they are hearing the story of a close friend. Intimate and hopeful.” —Gabby Reece, professional athlete, model, and podcaster
About the Author
Melissa Gould’s essays have appeared in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Washington Post, Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, and more. She’s an award-winning screenwriter whose credits include Bill Nye, the Science Guy; Party of Five; Beverly Hills, 90210; and Lizzie McGuire. She lives in Los Angeles, California. Find out more about Melissa at https://widowish.com.
Product details
- Publisher : Little A (February 1, 2021)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 219 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1542018765
- ISBN-13 : 978-1542018760
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 1 x 8.25 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #968,809 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2,627 in Love & Loss
- #10,646 in Women's Biographies
- #28,371 in Memoirs (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Melissa Gould’s memoir, Widowish, is an Amazon best seller, an Amazon Editors’ Pick, a Goodreads Top Book of 2021, and has been named one of BookAuthority’s Best Grief Books of All Time. Her essays have been published in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Washington Post, the Hollywood Reporter, Buzzfeed and more. Find out more about Melissa, as well as information about her writing workshops and editorial services, on her webiste at MelissaGouldAuthor DOT com and on Instagram at MelissaGould_Author.
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Top reviews from the United States
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Okay, first of all, I must confess. I didn't so much "purchase" the book since it was technically a freebie from the Amazon First Reads program.
However, not 24 hours after choosing the book as one of my monthly reads I was reading a friend's social media page and saw her praising "Widowish" and her friend, Melissa Gould.
I acknowledged that I had, in fact, just received the book and was looking forward to reading it. As a longtime widow myself, typically avoid these types of stories because they're either overly saccharine, overly sentimental, overly whiny, or I adopt the unhealthy behavior of owning something that's not mine because I get triggered.
There was something about "Widowish" that sounded appealing. It wasn't just because it was basically free, though that helped, but I sensed an honest voice with hints of humor and I simply found myself intrigued.
So, I took a chance. I'm glad I did.
It's difficult to describe "Widowish: A Memoir," a book that for me is far more about love than it is grief and a book that is far more about life than it is dying.
On the surface, you could be excused for feeling like Gould had quite the amazing life. She was married to Joel, whose career on the event side of music was successful. She had a lovely daughter, Sophie, who becomes lovelier page after page. She herself was already a successful writer and an award-winning screenwriter with several credits to her name.
She had a beautiful life. Of course, with a title like "Widowish" you likely already realize that this is a book that centers around the death of her spouse. While he had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, the truth is he still had a rather high quality of life. So, when he was unexpectedly hospitalized it was reasonable that she first thought to herself that he'd likely have some medication adjustments, get stabilized, and life would go on.
"Widowish: A Memoir" takes us through the journey of their early days of marriage, life with Multiple Sclerosis, journey through illness, and those days, weeks, and months after Joel's unexpected passing that were filled with grieving, adjusting, parenting, running Joel's former business, discovering a new social circle and, yes, tiptoeing toward a different expression of love.
While my own circumstances were vastly different in a myriad of ways - I was widowed in my early 20s and have never remarried, while my wife's death was by a suicide that also took the life of our newborn daughter, I identified immensely with many aspects of "Widowish" and, at times, felt just an amazing sense of empathy for Melissa as she worked to create a different life's tapestry.
There were times during "Widowish" that I sobbed uncontrollably.
There were times during "Widowish" that I laughed hysterically.
There were times during "Widowish" when I cheered her on silently, while there were other times when I'll confess I likely joined the naysayers in saying "Oh girl, be careful."
Gould has a remarkably strong sense of character. While "Widowish" is a memoir, that doesn't always mean anything when it comes to strong character development. In fact, it can often hurt a memoir.
Gould makes us fully visualize her and experience her journey. She helps us visualize Joel and understand their relationship. She creates, perhaps better than anyone else, a remarkably vivid picture of Sophie even as she acknowledges her own parenting quirks and challenges. She allows us to see the vulnerabilities and frailties of her life after Joel and the people she encountered, the friends she made, the friends who didn't respond so well, and the new circles she developed collectively and individually.
As "Widowish" took a bit of a detour about 2/3 of the way through, I'll confess (I confess a lot) that even I sort of resisted the woman she was becoming perhaps, I'd say, out of my own recognition that I had such great difficulty doing so myself.
Ugh. I hate that. But, I like that "Widowish" really made me explore that issue on a deeper level.
As an adult with a disability myself, in my case a childhood birth defect, I was captivated by the structure of her relationship with Joel during the times when he was more ill. The fact that she could so clearly write about these experiences in a way that avoided the maudlin or lessened Joel just sort of left me in awe.
There were other moments, for example she and her daughter processing memories, that made me realize that every memoir is really "This is how I remember it." This is brought so beautifully to life, especially during Joel's less healthy times and hospitalization.
I'm not sure that "Widowish" is truly a perfect book (whatever that means), but I'm not sure I'd want a perfect book about something as imperfect as grief. Instead, I think it's a book filled with the big and small moments of life and love, loss and grief, joy and sorrow that so often get left out of memoirs because sometimes we forget just how much the little things add up to the big things.
I think Melissa Gould gets that.
I loved "Widowish: A Memoir," a book that felt genuine and true and transparent and refreshingly vulnerable in a healthy and empowering way. I felt connected to Melissa Gould, not in a way that made me believe I experienced what she did (I didn't) but in a way that made me feel like our individual journeys through being a widow and experiencing loss and grief had a common bridge of humanity between them. "Widowish: A Memoir" is a book that serves as a reminder that at the core of grief is immense love and by book's end it was rewarding to see how Gould had learned to live love differently while honoring the sacredness of the entire journey.
She opens the book screaming at doctors, admits to cheerfully letting others remain uncomfortable when she could have been kind to them, and has a period of telling everyone that she's a widow to help herself accept that fact.
Yet for every rough moment like the above lies the counterpoint like below, familiar to anyone suddenly pushed into being the patient's advocate in a hospice situation:
"I realized that everything was up to me now. I knew in my soul that everything I did from this point forward had to be for Joel. He no longer had a voice, so I was his voice. Sitting there in the hospital hallway, my tears nowhere close to drying up, I knew that Joel and I were connected, and this gave me strength for the many decisions I would soon have to make on his behalf."
The grief journey is a universal experience, with some commonality, but each person discovers and works through their own struggles. The author bounces in time while telling her story in a conversational way, one moment in a hospital, another talking about she and her husband meeting. It's an easy to follow, stream of consciousness flow that's often almost too honest, thus not painting herself in the best light.
This does, however, seem to show an accurate portrayal of what she goes through, and the coping mechanisms she uses to ensure. If this could be a help to anyone else grieving, it has value.
Melissa is honest and is not afraid to share all of her feelings. Her story is heartbreaking and beautiful. I highly recommend this book.
Thank you so much for this beautiful story of your life, love, and loss with Joel. It was special and beautiful, and helped me in more ways than you can imagine. I wish you peace and love in your journey.
Top reviews from other countries
What I loved the most was authors engaging way of telling story that pulls you right in.
Melissa, be proud of this. I would be proud to be your friend, stand by you and watch you revel in the adoration this book deserves. Congrats. Hope your “part 2” is continuing well. ❤️