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J. A. Konrath
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Talon Konrath
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GRANDMA? Kindle Edition

by J.A. Konrath (Author), Talon Konrath (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.1 out of 5 stars 187 ratings
GERIATRIC ZOMBIES!!!

Randall just wanted to have a fun summer vacation with his family, visiting Grandma at her cabin on a lake in the Wisconsin Northwoods.

Then everything went horribly wrong.

Join fifteen-year-old Randall, and his younger brother Josh, as they fight for their lives on the eve of an elderly undead apocalypse.

GRANDMA? - The Complete Novel
She won't bake you cookies...

Forget everything you've ever read about zombies. But that's probably impossible, because you know you've read a lot. So maybe just put aside your preconceptions, because this living dead epic will make you remember why you fell in love with this genre in the first place. Part scary, part funny, this is a living dead Armageddon like you've never seen before.

This book is over 60,000 words long. It also includes a Q&A with the authors on the creation of the novel.

If you are a more sensitive (or adventurous) reader, this handy scale rates specific categories from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest) to give you some idea if this is your kind of book.

GRANDMA?
Bad Language - 4
Scary - 6
Violent - 6
Funny - 8
Sexy - 2
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  1. Print length
    246 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    January 16, 2017
  4. File size
    1.3 MB
  5. Page Flip
    Enabled
  6. Word Wise
    Enabled
  7. Enhanced typesetting
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Editorial Reviews

Review


What They're Saying About Joe Konrath's Writing

"Excellent smart-mouth thrills... my advice: Take a long sip."- Lee Child, author of Blue Moon

"Constant thrills and chills." - Heather Graham, author of The Seekers

"Snappy dialogue. Powerful action. A fabulous character to spend time with." - David Morrell, author of First Blood

"If the Grim Reaper has a sense of humor, he reads JA Konrath."- William Kent Krueger, author of This Tender Land

"It's funny and scary, just like real life."- James O. Born, author of Shock Wave

"Laugh-out-loud funny... even when read sober."- PJ Parrish, author of The Killing Song

"I haven't actually read this book." - Dave Barry, author of Tricky Business

"Fast-paced...(a) cross between Carl Hiaasen and Thomas Harris."- Publishers Weekly

"Engaging... full of humor... fans of Janet Evanovich will like this."- Library Journal

"Pithy banter... it's like a Monty Python rendition of a crime novel."- The Courier

"Put me down for another round of Lieutenant Jack Daniels." - Andrew Vachss, author of Another Life

"A literary cocktail that'll knock you off your chair." - Ridley Pearson, author of White Bone

From the Author

JA KONRATH BIBLIOGRAPHY

For the completists, or those with a bit of obsessive/compulsiveness, or the folks that just like my stuff and want to know how it all connects, I have a lot of recurring characters and intertwined series. If you need to know the best reading order, or how to make sure you haven't missed anything, check out the bibliography page on my website. You can also visit there to see when a new title will be released.

If you're just looking for a quick checklist, here are my main series.

These do not have to be read in any particular order, but I encourage you to read them all.

JACK DANIELS THRILLERS
#1-Whiskey Sour
#2-Bloody Mary
#3-Rusty Nail
#4-Dirty Martini
#5-Shot Of Tequila
#6-Fuzzy Navel
#7-Cherry Bomb
#8-Dead On My Feet
#9-Serial Killers Uncut (with Blake Crouch)
#10-Shaken
#11-Stirred (with Blake Crouch)
#12-Dying Breath
#13-Everybody Dies
#14-Rum Runner
#15-Last Call
#16-White Russian
#17-Shot Girl
#18-Chaser
#19-Old Fashioned
#20-Bite Force
#21-Jack Rose
#22-Witch Brew
Bonus #2.5-Lady 52 (with Jude Hardin)
Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 1 (Novella Collection)
Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 2 (Novella Collection)
Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 3 (Novella Collection)
Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 4 (Novella Collection)
Banana Hammock (Novella Collection)

THE KONRATH DARK THRILLER COLLECTIVE
#1-The List
#2-Origin
#3-Afraid
#4-Trapped
#5-Endurance
#6-Haunted House
#7-Webcam
#8-Disturb
#9-What Happened To Lori
#10-The Nine
#11-Second Coming
#12-Close Your Eyes
Bonus #4.5-Holes in the Ground (with Iain Rob Wright)
Bonus #5.5-Draculas (with Blake Crouch, Jeff Strand, F. Paul Wilson)
Bonus #6.5-Grandma? (with Talon Konrath)

TIMECASTER
#1-Timecaster
#2-Timecaster Supersymmetry
#3-Timecaster Steampunk

CODENAME: CHANDLER (with Ann Voss Peterson)
#1-Flee
#2-Spree
#3-Three
#4-Hit
#5-Exposed
#6-Naughty
#7-Fix (with F. Paul Wilson)
#8-Rescue
#9-Free

STOP A MURDER PUZZLE BOOKS
#1-How: Puzzles 1-12
#2-Where: Puzzles 13-24
#3-Why: Puzzles 25-36
#4-Who: Puzzles 37-48
#5-When: Puzzles 49-60
#6-Answers
Stop A Murder Complete Cases (Book 1-5)

MISCELLANEOUS
65 Proof - Collected Short Stories
The Globs Of Use-A-Lot 3 (With Dan Maderak)

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B01MS2P80T
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 16, 2017
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1.3 MB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 246 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 out of 5 stars 187 ratings

About the authors

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  1. J. A. Konrath

    J. A. Konrath

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    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Joe Konrath has written over twenty novels in the Lt. Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels thriller series. They do not have to be read chronologically to be enjoyed, but the order is: Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Shot of Tequila, Fuzzy Navel, Cherry Bomb, Dead On My Feet, Serial Killers Uncut (with Blake Crouch), Shaken, Stirred (with Blake Crouch), Dying Breath, Everybody Dies, Rum Runner, Last Call, White Russian, Shot Girl, Chaser, Old Fashioned, Bite Force, and Witch Brew. More coming soon.

    Wow, that's a lot of Jack.

    If you like your thrillers on the dark side, check out the Konrath Dark Thriller Collective, which includes the books The List, Origin, Afraid, Trapped, Endurance, Haunted House, Webcam, Disturb, What Happened To Lori, The Nine, Second Coming, and Close Your Eyes.

    Joe also wrote the Stop A Murder mystery puzzle series, where you become the sleuth and solve brain teasers to try and catch a killer.

    He also wrote the sci-fi trilogy, Timecaster, Timecaster Supersymmetry, and Timecaster Steampunk. Even if you don't think you like sci-fi, give them a try. They feature Joe's well-known characters from his other series, and are insane.

    With Ann Voss Peterson he wrote the Codename: Chandler thrillers, including Flee, Spree, Three, Hit, Exposed, Naughty, Fix (with F. Paul Wilson), Rescue, and Free.

    And, finally, he writes erotica under the pen name Melinda DuChamp, also with Ann Voss Peterson. Those books are probably too spicy for you, so only the brave and bold should seek them out.

    Joe writes a lot. You should probably read everything.

    You can visit Joe and sign up for his newsletter at www.JAKonrath.com/mailing-list.php

    See more on the author's page
  2. Talon Konrath

    Talon Konrath

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    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Talon Konrath is newbie twenty-year-old author.

    He collaborated on his first book, the YA zombie novel GRANDMA? with his best-selling father, J.A. Konrath. (www.jakonrath.com).

    You can find the short clips he made on his youtube account, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWUoTSIvQRy8MDHHMK8veNQ

    Check out his website, www.talonkonrath.com.

    You can also find Talon posting funny tweets and/or important updates on his twitter account, @talonkonrath

    See more on the author's page
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Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
187 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book thoroughly entertaining and appreciate its humor, with one mentioning it had them cracking up multiple times. Moreover, the book serves as a good introduction to the horror genre, with one review highlighting its nice references to classic zombie movies. Additionally, customers like the character development and consider it a solid effort. However, the pacing receives negative feedback, with several customers describing it as pretty dumb.

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20 customers mention "Readability"20 positive0 negative

Customers find the book thoroughly entertaining and love reading it, with one mentioning that Gramma was great fun.

"...This was a new one since I checked in, loved the cover, and then loved the book. The setting is idyllic...." Read more

"This was a fun diversion that didn't involve a lot of heavy lifting. If zombies aren't your thing, this book isn't for you...." Read more

"Im so tired of zombie books but this one was great! Had me cracking up a bunch of times...." Read more

"...This was gory and also funny. I thought the authors did a great job on this book." Read more

16 customers mention "Humor"16 positive0 negative

Customers find the book humorous, with one mentioning it had them cracking up multiple times.

"...There is a dark and twisted sense of humor here. This bit made me laugh out loud: &#..." Read more

"...Fun read for all ages, and I hope there is a sequel, or a movie of this!" Read more

"...Had me cracking up a bunch of times. Kudos to you both for writing an awesome & funny new take on zombies!" Read more

"...This was gory and also funny. I thought the authors did a great job on this book." Read more

13 customers mention "Horror genre"13 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the horror elements of the book, particularly its gory scenes and references to classic zombie movies.

"...But if they are, this is a YA take on the genre with an interesting premise: only the elderly become reanimated flesh eaters...." Read more

"...Kudos to you both for writing an awesome & funny new take on zombies!" Read more

"...This was gory and also funny. I thought the authors did a great job on this book." Read more

"...The book is fast moving ,gory and very zombie. Characters are characters ...." Read more

8 customers mention "Character development"8 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the character development in the book.

"...Randall and Josh are brothers and they are very likable characters. I was pulling for them the whole time...." Read more

"...So many other great characters which made the humor that much funnier." Read more

"...The book is fast moving ,gory and very zombie. Characters are characters ...." Read more

"...Totally not believable, but I enjoyed the adult characters and the kids. Not all elderly people have dentures, though." Read more

3 customers mention "Effort"3 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the effort put into the book.

"...But I did laugh. This is not for everyone but it is a solid effort from Talon Konrath and his dad, Joe." Read more

"...Didn't care for the ending, but others may. Fine effort by an excellent author and his son. Later tater!" Read more

"...My kind of stories that I like to read and never disappointed." Read more

4 customers mention "Pacing"0 positive4 negative

Customers find the book's pacing negative, describing it as pretty dumb and a waste of time.

"...is dumb, stupid, and totally ridiculous. Yes, it lacks any kind of literary merit, originality, or even much in the way of writing skill...." Read more

"sorry I wasted my money on this one. just a waste of time, wasn't funny, wasn't enjoyable read. wish I had done a better job of reading the reviews" Read more

"...It was one of the worst books I have ever read. It was really weird. I really didn't care for people over 65 to be made fun of!..." Read more

"So far I'm not crazy about the book. I think it is pretty dumb. I don't know if I will even finish it." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Terry
    5.0 out of 5 stars Best Zombie Collaboration Ever
    Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    For various reasons, I have needed comfort books. Mr. Konrath's books fit that need perfectly. This was a new one since I checked in, loved the cover, and then loved the book.

    The setting is idyllic. Parents, two boys, and one Grandma staying at a lake cabin. Lots of fishing, cookie baking, and today, the parents are off on a walk/hike. Grandma is gardening, boys doing boy stuff.

    On another part of the lake, a self-styled inventor has a surprise for his best friend forever. At least 60 years. Only it is the inventor who is surprised.

    And then something happens to Grandma.

    If you have ever read a Konrath the Elder book, especially any with Harry McGlade in it, and gone on to read another will be pleased the Konrath the Younger is developing his own writing chops.

    Thank goodness it isn't a graphic novel. I would have missed a delightful story.

    Even if you believe, as I did, you simply cannot read another zombie book, let this be your last. It is worth it.
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  • D. Peterson
    4.0 out of 5 stars Definitely for younger readers
    Reviewed in the United States on June 8, 2022
    Verified Purchase
    I am not in the age range for this book. Not even close to the target market. But I liked the idea of father and son working together to get this book written and published.
    It is very wordy though. Everything that could go wrong for the two kids in a couple hours, did go wrong.
    My favorite part involved a *nose ring*. But since I don't like spoilers you will just have to read this one yourself.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Beth Anne
    3.0 out of 5 stars Solid effort!
    Reviewed in the United States on March 19, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    This was a fun diversion that didn't involve a lot of heavy lifting.

    If zombies aren't your thing, this book isn't for you. But if they are, this is a YA take on the genre with an interesting premise: only the elderly become reanimated flesh eaters. There are some nice references to classic zombie movies like "Night of the Living Dead."

    Randall and Josh are brothers and they are very likable characters. I was pulling for them the whole time.

    There is a dark and twisted sense of humor here. This bit made me laugh out loud:

    "Papa got the cancer, and the doctor removed his tongue and lower jaw. He died not long after, not from cancer, but of malnutrition, because he could only chew if he placed food on the edge of a table and pounded his upper teeth down on it."

    Is it bad that I laughed at that? Maybe. But I did laugh.

    This is not for everyone but it is a solid effort from Talon Konrath and his dad, Joe.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Robin Barber
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hysterical, fun read!
    Reviewed in the United States on February 23, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Geriatric zombies, a man who calls himself Einstein who invents useless (and usually dangerous) items, such as a Boomerang Hammer (for hammering around corners, of course!), and two brothers, the younger of which is smarter than the rest of the characters...put all this together and you have a combo of The Walking Dead meets the Big Bang Theory. Fun read for all ages, and I hope there is a sequel, or a movie of this!
    3 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Terri J Lange
    5.0 out of 5 stars Fun to read
    Reviewed in the United States on July 17, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Loved this story. Great job Talon coming up with the idea of the 2 brothers and their grandma zombie.
    So many other great characters which made the humor that much funnier.
    Helpful
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  • Jdog7_29
    4.0 out of 5 stars Stupid zombie fun
    Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Ok, yes, if you really want to be a tool and be that one person who has to complain about how stupid this book is, go ahead, and vent, because, honestly, I'll agree with you. Yes, Grandma? is dumb, stupid, and totally ridiculous. Yes, it lacks any kind of literary merit, originality, or even much in the way of writing skill. Yes, I know its about ambulatory, intelligent, geriatric zombies. I get it. its pretty idiotic and juvenile.

    But you know what? I'm totally ok with that because while I do agree that Grandma? was far, far, far, away from any kind of deep, meaningful or insiteful reading, I sure as hell had a lot of fun reading it.

    You see, in this day and age of pretentious authors who think their overwrought and unnecessary drivel of an author means something, there are still others out there who write just for the everlasting fun of it. They write because they enjoy the art of writing. They write to have fun.

    It's pretty obvious that Grandma? is just that kind of book. Konrath and his son clearly went ahead and wrote this book about old, shambling zombies because it was just a fun thing to do. Not only for the pure enjoyment, but also as an experiment in father/son bonding. Personally, I thought the book they came up with turned out great.

    It's stupid, but at least it's stupid fun.
    5 people found this helpful
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  • deedee242
    5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!
    Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Im so tired of zombie books but this one was great! Had me cracking up a bunch of times. Kudos to you both for writing an awesome & funny new take on zombies!
    Helpful
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  • Jenel Still
    3.0 out of 5 stars Creepy and Funny
    Reviewed in the United States on April 1, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    This was about zombies and the two boys, Randall and Josh that were fighting for their lives while everyone was trying to eat them. I liked Einstein, a funny old geezer that thought he was a genius. This was gory and also funny. I thought the authors did a great job on this book.
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Misfit Malice
    4.0 out of 5 stars Good
    Reviewed in Canada on December 25, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Hey! That was a fun story. I'm happy I wasn't convinced by some of the bad reviews.

    There's even one who complained about the zombies speaking... That he never saw that... Common! Haven't you heard about Return of the Living Dead!?

    Some complained about the humour, too. Have you heard about absurd and second degree...? You really shouldn't post bad review when you don't know what you're talking about.

    Artists works really hard to provide you with entertainment. You should be grateful. I NEVER review a book under 4 stars, and when I do a critique, it's always constructive. Or I specify if it's not my usual type of story. When I don't like the book, I just close it.

    Complaining about books that you paid peanuts, really!? That's kind of cheap.
    Report
  • Trudy Russel
    5.0 out of 5 stars funny, charming
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 8, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    I found it horrfying, funny, charming, sadly however I did finish it in a weekend only because I just couldn't put it down, but since reading it I have avoided my grandmother, maybe I should give her a ring...
    Report
  • Joseph Plouffe
    2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
    Reviewed in Canada on May 28, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    It was well written, however, it's the first time I've ever heard of talking zombies in any book or tv. I know it's fiction but really, talking zombies.
    Report
  • Aron A.
    2.0 out of 5 stars A boring read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 23, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    This book unfortunately is really bad. It sounded like a good premise but it has failed to deliver. The plot never seems to get going and the fact it's written by several people's perspectives really let's it down, it just doesn't feel natural for the reader.

    It's not all bad though, as I said it showed real potential and in places it really meets that potential in places.

    I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone, it's a boring read to be frank. I only gave it two stars because it had sections where it showed promise.
    Report

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