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Sue Gerhardt
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Why Love Matters: How affection shapes a baby's brain 2nd Edition, Kindle Edition

by Sue Gerhardt (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.7 out of 5 stars 1,173 ratings

Why Love Matters explains why loving relationships are essential to brain development in the early years, and how these early interactions can have lasting consequences for future emotional and physical health. This second edition follows on from the success of the first, updating the scientific research, covering recent findings in genetics and the mind/body connection, and including a new chapter highlighting our growing understanding of the part also played by pregnancy in shaping a baby’s future emotional and physical well-being.

The author focuses in particular on the wide-ranging effects of early stress on a baby or toddler’s developing nervous system. When things go wrong with relationships in early life, the dependent child has to adapt; what we now know is that his or her brain adapts too. The brain’s emotion and immune systems are particularly affected by early stress and can become less effective. This makes the child more vulnerable to a range of later difficulties such as depression, anti-social behaviour, addictions or anorexia, as well as physical illness.

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  1. ISBN-13
    978-1317635796
  2. Edition
    2nd
  3. Publisher
    Routledge
  4. Publication date
    October 24, 2014
  5. Language
    English
  6. File size
    3.5 MB
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Why Love Matters is hugely important. It should be mandatory reading for all parents, teachers and politicians." - The Guardian

"Sue Gerhardt's choice of title reflects the loving attention to detail that is the essence of this book... excellently researched and well-written book which deserves to be widely read by practitioners, researchers and parents." - Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice

"Sue Gerhardt has written a vitally important book - a must-read for every parent, teacher, physician and politician." - Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence

"I would like to add to that positive view and suggest that this book be on every reading list you offer to new parents, politicians, clients, colleagues, family and friends." - Jeannie Wright, British Journal of Guidance and Counselling

"Gerhardt's book offers perhaps one of the most concise arguments for why love and affection in early life truly do matter. Written with clear and direct language, this text can serve as a general resource for mental health professionals and parents alike." - Rachel Altamirano, Clinical Social Work Journal

About the Author

Dr Sue Gerhardt has been a psychoanalytic psychotherapist in private practice since 1997. She co-founded the Oxford Parent Infant Project (OXPIP), a pioneering charity that today provides psychotherapeutic help to hundreds of parents and babies in Oxfordshire and is now the prototype of many new ‘PIPs’ around the country. She is also the author of The Selfish Society (2012).

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0B5FPCC7M
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Routledge
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 24, 2014
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ 2nd
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 3.5 MB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Up to 4 simultaneous devices, per publisher limits
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 317 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1317635796
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 out of 5 stars 1,173 ratings

About the author

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Sue Gerhardt

Sue Gerhardt

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Dr.Sue Gerhardt is a practicing psychotherapist living and working in Oxford, England.

Her first job after leaving Cambridge University was as a paralegal worker in a community law centre in north London, working mainly with disaffected youths in trouble with the law. She later went on to become a film-maker,of films such as Tell It Like It Is, about sexual abuse within the black community.

In the 1990s,she became a psychotherapist and studied early child development with the Tavistock Clinic. Inspired by the work of Daniel Stern, she co-founded a charity, the Oxford Parent Infant Project (OXPIP)in 1997 to provide psychotherapy for parents and babies under 2. The organisation continues to flourish and serves around 500 families a year. She is delighted that there are now many new PIPs springing into existence around the UK.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
1,173 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book informative, with one mentioning how it opened their eyes to brain development in infancy. Moreover, the book is well-written and easy to read, making it suitable for all parents-to-be.

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18 customers mention "Information quality"18 positive0 negative

Customers find the book informative, with one customer noting how it opens their eyes to the fundamentals of brain development in infancy.

"...The book presents evidence based on scientific research that supports the crucial role of relationships in the early development of healthy self-..." Read more

"...Sources are well cited, ideas are well backed up in scientific research, and the information is presented in a way which benefits lay readers as..." Read more

"...IT CHANGED MY LIFE... really helped me to understand why i have become the person that i am & that the decisions of my parents & the people i grew..." Read more

"A must-read for parents, teachers, politicians and anyone who interacts with children and wants to understand how much attention we guve baby from..." Read more

13 customers mention "Reading level"13 positive0 negative

Customers praise the book's accessibility, noting it is suitable for all parents-to-be and emphasizes the importance of parenting techniques. One customer highlights how it provides specific explanations for why certain strategies impact infants.

"...think they are necessary because this book gives specifics about why certain strategies affect infants...." Read more

"...be part of every governments guide to how to bring up children & every new parent , male & female should read it.. its not just a baby book, theres..." Read more

"A must-read for parents, teachers, politicians and anyone who interacts with children and wants to understand how much attention we guve baby from..." Read more

"...], this is one of THE indispensable guides to infant care...." Read more

10 customers mention "Readability"8 positive2 negative

Customers find the book well written and easy to read.

"...The book is well written and the presentation is entertaining covering not only the science but also providing vivid illustrations from the author’s..." Read more

"I needed this book for my human development course. It is so well written and interesting!" Read more

"The text is well written and provides readily accessible information related to cognitive development and lifelong impacts...." Read more

"Good content but very drawn out, almost too much detail so it gets mundane. Baby Brains is a better book, same info but much shorter." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • j. h. daruna
    5.0 out of 5 stars Profoundly Enlightening Sue Gerhardt’s Why Love Matters is an important book that addresses the crucial ...
    Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    Profoundly Enlightening
    Sue Gerhardt’s Why Love Matters is an important book that addresses the crucial issue of what we need to recognize if we are to be more understanding of ourselves and each other and promote the health and well-being of future generations. This is a topic that should interest everyone because in one way or another we all contribute to what happens. The book presents evidence based on scientific research that supports the crucial role of relationships in the early development of healthy self-regulation. It describes how the ability to experience emotions with clarity and behave in constructive ways is rooted in what transpires in our immediate social context long before we have any awareness of what is happening. The book is well written and the presentation is entertaining covering not only the science but also providing vivid illustrations from the author’s clinical experience as well as from literature, film, and biography. The book underscores that it is during an individual’s most vulnerable months; namely prenatal life, infancy, and toddlerhood, that relationships have the most profound and enduring impact on our development. This is because during early life the brain is forming and becoming rapidly organized into functional systems whose structure and dynamics are not solely shaped by genetics. Exposure and experience drive genetic expression during time-limited sensitive periods and ultimately help determine whether our responses to environmental challenges or stressful circumstances will be more or less adaptive across situations.
    It must be acknowledged that the idea of time-limited windows of opportunity to promote maximum well-being is not a comforting notion. Unfortunately, the idea is supported by lots of evidence which is not to say that one cannot point to exceptions where individuals subjected to adverse circumstances emerge with admirable qualities. Such resilient individuals are not the norm and often they have benefited from some unexpected relationship. It is also the case that biological arguments are not readily embraced by many well-intentioned individuals who find such arguments to be dangerously deterministic explanations for human behavior and contrary to notions of voluntary choice and responsibility for one’s actions. However, dismissing the ideas put forth in this book would only serve to perpetuate societal neglect of children and families who are in need of well-timed support if they are to avoid adverse outcomes such as susceptibility to academic failure, depression, violence, criminality, and/or addiction. Here some may perceive that the author is casting blame when in fact she is clarifying what needs to be recognized if we want to be supportive in ways that are effective. Investing in the early years is simply the right thing to do and besides that it is estimated to be less costly than the alternatives. Again this is an important book with a message that perhaps is not entirely reassuring or easy to accept but one that is profoundly enlightening!
    11 people found this helpful
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  • littlecatland
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book for parents, parents-to-be, and clinicians.
    Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2007
    Verified Purchase
    This book really opened my eyes to the fundamentals of brain development in infancy. I had no idea how much the actual physiology of the brain is affected by infant experience, not just the psychological. Sources are well cited, ideas are well backed up in scientific research, and the information is presented in a way which benefits lay readers as well as researchers (with an introduction about brain structure and development).

    I suggest every parent-to-be get a hold of this book. One reviewer was dissapointed by the lack of specific exercises to play with. However, I don't think they are necessary because this book gives specifics about why certain strategies affect infants. I think understanding why certain types of parenting work better than others makes parents more likely to come up with the kind of adaptive spontaneous strategies which come out of such a way of thinking. You could also check out Brazelton for more specific info about exercises to do with your baby.

    As a side note, once you read this book and make decisions about parenting based on the exhaustive research cited within, you will not only feel more confident about your parenting, but you will be able to defend against attacks from helpful but persistent grandparents, in-laws, and friends - should you want to engage in such discussions.
    22 people found this helpful
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  • Missspelt
    5.0 out of 5 stars Best Book Ever Written
    Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2012
    Verified Purchase
    Well i dont read hardly any books but when i went through a hard patch of anxiety a couple of years ago, i was recommended this book. IT CHANGED MY LIFE... really helped me to understand why i have become the person that i am & that the decisions of my parents & the people i grew up with contributed so much as to how i am today...

    I have now bought 4 of these books & given them as presents to friends who are expecting babies, this book should be part of every governments guide to how to bring up children & every new parent , male & female should read it.. its not just a baby book, theres way more to it than that.
    11 people found this helpful
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  • Ivan
    4.0 out of 5 stars This book is great but wish there was a more in the end for adults, not just babies
    Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2022
    Verified Purchase
    The whole book has so many examples of how people are shaped in their early years, even suggesting that your brain is being shaped even before birth. But the book ends with suggestions on how to properly raise a child and make sure they are set for a healthy adult life. However, there are no real suggestions for how to help an adult, like me, who has already gone though a tough upbringing and cannot change the past. So after reading it all and seeing so many examples that reflect my experience, there was not a real solution as to how to move on and heal.
    6 people found this helpful
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  • beinloveart
    5.0 out of 5 stars politicians and anyone who interacts with children and wants to understand how much attention we guve baby from the day it is bo
    Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    A must-read for parents, teachers, politicians and anyone who interacts with children and wants to understand how much attention we guve baby from the day it is born until three years is like "putting all the ingredients in and baking a cake" it's a time when attention is crucial and babies take everything in, our levels of happiness and everything we engage them in ... they are a beautiful fragile sponge at this age and they need us to know - so read this book! x
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Linny
    5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE THIS BOOK!!
    Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2023
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    I needed this book for my human development course. It is so well written and interesting!
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Valentine Cousin
    5.0 out of 5 stars A faire lire à toutes les futures et jeunes Maman
    Reviewed in France on September 7, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    Un livre incroyable qui vous fait réaliser à quel point il est important d'être bien dans sa tête pour avoir un bébé en bonne santé et heureux.
    C'est une réelle prise de conscience : si on sensibilise très tôt les parents et surtout la Maman et qu'on vient en aide à celles qui en ont besoin nous pourrions développer des adultes bien dans leur tête.
    Je recommande !
    PS : ce serait bien de l'avoir en français pour le rendre accessible en France au plus grand nombre :)

    Seul hic : le livre est donc en anglais et certain passages sont légèrement technique pour un non initié
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  • claudia
    5.0 out of 5 stars meraviglioso
    Reviewed in Italy on September 11, 2019
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    libro stupendo anche per i non addetti ai lavori. dovrebbe essere letto dalle coppie prima di avere un bambino. interessantissimo
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  • Dr.Pooja
    5.0 out of 5 stars ... not read yet but its title itself tell about love which is the first thing we all need
    Reviewed in India on October 28, 2015
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    Book I have not read yet but its title itself tell about love which is the first thing we all need.
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  • P. M.
    5.0 out of 5 stars why Love Matters
    Reviewed in Canada on October 15, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Excellent book that was recommended to me. Was very expensive to purchase new so I was happy to find this used copy in great condition.
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  • D. R. Silvester
    5.0 out of 5 stars The Key to a better society and a better world
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 13, 2006
    Verified Purchase
    Before examining the book's content I believe it is important to state that in my opinion this book would be a far easier read for those with some background knowledge of John Bowlby's attachment theory or at least prior reading on the subject of parent-child relationships.

    Obviously I am speaking from my own level of intelligence, (not too intelligent but an avid reader) I should imagine that there are many parents and lay people who would enjoy reading this book without the above prerequisites.

    For maybe the first third of the book I found it quite heavy going because the focus is upon the development of the child's brain in relation to certain types of parenting.

    Therefore, there is a lot of exploration into the structure of the brain and how certain parts such as the Hypocampus and Hypothalamus work in conjunction with other parts such as neurotransmitters like serotonin and cortisol. Initially the book seemed quite cold and technical.

    Moving on, the book goes on to provide strong evidence for the work of John Bowlby and Attachment theory, illustrating how neglectful, emotionally ambivalent and emotionally distant parenting styles create brain structures and chemical imbalances that leave children prone to rage, aggression, hyper tension, violence, depression and addiction in adulthood.

    At times I found the book disturbing when considering how many children are disadvantaged in this way, especially considering the problems they face in later life.

    On the other hand this book is of huge importance to the lay person, professionals, policy makers and most particularly anyone who has or plans to have children.

    The prominent message here is that a great many if not all of our social ills, war, violence, addiction, crime and murder (to mention but a few) are the consequences of unresponsive and abusive parenting.

    Undoubtedly many parents may feel defensive reading this book, but I would defy anyone to offer a scientifically sound counter argument to the evidence presented within it. Also it is worth noting that the main thrust of the book is not to establish blame, but to throw light on what was previously unknown so that we may eradicate these needlessly destructive patterns.

    The bottom line is that this book has huge potential to effect massive social change. In seeing how these maladaptive attachment and parenting styles lead to first personal problems and then serious social ones, we have the solution to making changes for the future of our children and theirs in turn.

    Overall this book is a humanistic subject approached from a scientific perspective. Make no mistake this book is one of the most important I have and ever will read. Without a doubt it will also be the same for anyone reading the book.

    Finally, in addition to being highly informative, it is also optimistic in pointing out that change is not impossible, but prevention is the key to a better society and a better world.
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