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John Spencer
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Not the Parables of Jesus: Revised Satirical Version (Not the Bible) Kindle Edition

by John Spencer (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.0 out of 5 stars 36 ratings

Restore the wonder of the parables, the joy of the Gospel... and the discomfort of the Sword of Truth stabbed firmly in your gut.


Not the Parables of Jesus contains more than 40* different takes on the original parables to snap us out of our over-familiarity and to open our eyes to the truth of the Gospel.


Half tongue-in-cheek, half right between the eyes


Often fun, sometimes poignant, and occasionally painful; these parables reveal our cultural biases, hidden assumptions, and the lies we believe.


If I were alive today, I would be happy to condemn these parables as heretical.

Martin Luther†


‘Awesome. Excellent. Recommended’ are some adjectives I found in the thesaurus. However I wouldn’t use any of them to describe this book.

Dick Shunnary


This is fake good news!

Donald Trump†


When I read ‘Not the Bible’ I feel the pleasure of God.†

Eric Liddle’s sixth cousin twice removed


Not the Bible. It’s like the Bible. Only not.


John was born at a very young age with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. At first, it appeared that no lasting damage had been done, but as he grew it became clear that his sense of humour had been damaged irreparably.


John lives with his family near Oxford, England where daily he wonders how his wife still finds the same jokes funny after nearly 20 years of marriage.



* Bet you think that means there are only 41 parables? Well there are actually 42. So there!

† Everything’s true about these statements except the quotes.
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  1. Print length
    110 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    November 1, 2017
  4. File size
    2.0 MB
  5. Page Flip
    Enabled
  6. Word Wise
    Enabled
  7. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Editorial Reviews

Review

If I were alive today, I would be happy to condemn these parables as heretical.
Martin Luther+

'Awesome. Excellent. Recommended' are some adjectives I found in the thesaurus. However I wouldn't use any of them to describe this book.
Dick Shunnary

This is fake good news!
Donald Trump+

When I read 'Not the Bible' I feel the pleasure of God.
Eric Liddle's sixth cousin twice removed+

+ Everything's true about these statements except the quotes.

About the Author

John was born at a very young age with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. At first, it appeared that no lasting damage had been done, but as he grew it became clear that his sense of humour had been damaged irreparably.

Not even Bible College, counselling, and prayer ministry has been able to rectify things, so John eagerly awaits the new creation where his humour will be perfected.

John also trained as a teacher at Oxford University, but despite this he still refers to himself in the third person. Whilst there, he performed stand-up comedy as part of the Oxford Revue but got tired and has been sitting down at his desk to perform his humour ever since.

So now, when he's not wrestling with work-life balance or literally wrestling with his four children, he's wrestling with writing funny words on a page in his cramped study.

John lives with his family near Oxford, England where daily he wonders how his wife still finds the same jokes funny after more than 20 years of marriage.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B076552QYN
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Kingdom Collective Publishing
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ November 1, 2017
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 2.0 MB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 110 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1912045648
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.0 out of 5 stars 36 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
John Spencer

John Spencer

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John trained as a teacher at Oxford University, but despite this he still refers to himself in the third person.

John loves using stories and his rather quirky British humour to open people’s eyes.

When he’s not wrestling with his work-life balance or literally wrestling with his four children, he’s wrestling with writing words on a page in his cramped study.

You can find him at his website: JohnSpencerWrites.com

John lives with his family near Oxford, England where daily he wonders how his wife still finds the same jokes funny after more than 20 years of marriage.

Customer reviews

4 out of 5 stars
36 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book humorous and thought-provoking, with one mentioning how it made them remember the truth of Jesus' parables.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

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6 customers mention "Humor"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book humorous, with one noting that God has a sense of humor, and another describing it as very fun.

"...It made me laugh, as these familiar parables took on an unexpected 180!..." Read more

"...you think about the application of Jesus’ parables while also making you laugh, all in balance...." Read more

"Humorous and thought provoking. I've recommended it to the few people that I know can read and can access a Kindle. Thanks." Read more

"This book is outstanding. So funny and profound! I loved it! Highly recommended. Not likely to offend believers with a sense of humor." Read more

5 customers mention "Thought provoking"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book thought-provoking, appreciating its profound meaning, with one customer noting how it made them remember the truth of Jesus' parables.

"...At the same time, reading them made me remember the truth of Jesus' parables and their "hidden" meaning for those willing to look deeper...." Read more

"This book makes you think about the application of Jesus’ parables while also making you laugh, all in balance...." Read more

"...A fresh take on the parables with a modern twist so that the parables really come alive in a new way & such a profound meaning!..." Read more

"Humorous and thought provoking. I've recommended it to the few people that I know can read and can access a Kindle. Thanks." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Wendy Lucien
    5.0 out of 5 stars A good surprise!
    Reviewed in the United States on February 23, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    I decided to not be "religious" and give this book a chance. It made me laugh, as these familiar parables took on an unexpected 180! At the same time, reading them made me remember the truth of Jesus' parables and their "hidden" meaning for those willing to look deeper. Thank you, John, for a good read that I enjoyed so much and will continue to share!
    One person found this helpful
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  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious
    Reviewed in the United States on March 9, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    I loved this book. I laughed more than I have all day while reading it. Would/will recommend. Five stars any day
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  • J. Loach
    5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and thought-provoking
    Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    This book makes you think about the application of Jesus’ parables while also making you laugh, all in balance. My only complaint, and this is not the author’s fault, is that the typeface in the Kindle version is spaced t o o f a r a p a r t for comfortable reading.
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Mom of 5 in Illinois
    5.0 out of 5 stars GET THIS BOOK! If you love reading/studying Jesus’ parables!
    Reviewed in the United States on June 28, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    I just love John Spencer’s writing! I have 5 children and work as a high school youth leader for the girls at my church. I first found John Spencer’s book The NOT Parables of Jesus so wonderful! A fresh take on the parables with a modern twist so that the parables really come alive in a new way & such a profound meaning! (Reminds me odd reading CS Lewis: Screwtape Letters... you have to understand the somewhat satirical style to really appreciate the brilliance!)

    Now John Spencer also has written these GREAT allegorical tales (The Crocodile and the Princess) OUTSTANDING AS WELL! (only $0.99 on Kindle) I will read this a lot to not only my children ages 11-20 (who still LOVE ♥️ when I read aloud after dinner), but I will read this aloud to my youth group girls as well! PROFOUND message in this tale! Don’t give your love away to any old bloke!
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  • Karen B
    2.0 out of 5 stars Eh
    Reviewed in the United States on March 6, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    I bought this for our guest room nightstand. My father-in-law said the cover was the best part.
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  • LA FX
    1.0 out of 5 stars Not only not good; lame
    Reviewed in the United States on October 2, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    What a disappointment. Not one redeeming quality. Not funny. Not a new way of looking at the Biblical parables just a snarky bunch of made up stuff.
    One person found this helpful
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  • J. Fuller
    5.0 out of 5 stars 👍
    Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Humorous and thought provoking. I've recommended it to the few people that I know can read and can access a Kindle. Thanks.
    Helpful
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  • Lost Adventuress
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and Insightful
    Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    This book is outstanding. So funny and profound! I loved it! Highly recommended. Not likely to offend believers with a sense of humor.
    Helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Lee
    5.0 out of 5 stars Comically thought provoking!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 3, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    A wonderful comical approach towards the parables of Jesus. Got a giggle out of this book! It also gives you plenty of food for thought at the same time! Worth a read!
    Report
  • Daniel
    4.0 out of 5 stars Funny, clever and makes you think
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 13, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    This book takes some of the well known parables of Jesus and rewrites them in a way that makes obvious what Jesus didn't say and therefore makes you think about the message of the real parable. It reveals how often in our world the teachings of Jesus are not correctly followed.
    Some parts of this book are funny and other parts just make you think.
    Report

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