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J. A. Konrath
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Shapeshifters Anonymous: The Creepshow Christmas Special on Shudder Kindle Edition

by J.A. Konrath (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.1 out of 5 stars 189 ratings

As seen on the TV series Creepshow...

It isn't easy being a werewolf. Especially when you're a newbie at shapeshifting.

Lucky, there's a group called Shapeshifters Anonymous that will help you work through the difficult times, like eating your friends, and shedding.

When recently turned werewolf Robert Weston Smith discovers his new found abilities in a humorous (but alarming) way, he seeks out the support group to help him figure things out. There he meets various characters who transform into assorted, odd things, including a sexy werecheetah named Irena.

But little did Weston know he'd been followed to this private gathering, by someone who wants to do the therianthropes a great deal of harm...

Shapeshifters Anonymous is a 12,000 word novella. It contains a handful of werepeople, a dash of romance, some gratuitous humor, and revisionist Xmas theories. It also has previews of Konrath's other work.

If you are a more sensitive (or adventurous) reader, this handy scale rates specific categories from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest) to give you some idea if this is your kind of book.

SHAPESHIFTERS ANONYMOUS
Bad Language - 4
Scary - 5
Violent - 7
Funny - 9
Sexy - 5

On December 18th, 2020, this story premiered on the Shudder network as a one hour Creepshow Christmas Special.

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  1. Print length
    62 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Accessibility
    Learn more
  4. Publication date
    February 22, 2011
  5. File size
    963 KB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
    Enabled
  8. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Editorial Reviews

Review

What They're Saying About Joe Konrath's Writing

"Excellent smart-mouth thrills... my advice: Take a long sip."- Lee Child, author of Blue Moon

"Constant thrills and chills." - Heather Graham, author of The Seekers

"Snappy dialogue. Powerful action. A fabulous character to spend time with." - David Morrell, author of First Blood

"If the Grim Reaper has a sense of humor, he reads JA Konrath."- William Kent Krueger, author of This Tender Land

"It's funny and scary, just like real life."- James O. Born, author of Shock Wave

"Laugh-out-loud funny... even when read sober."- PJ Parrish, author of The Killing Song

"I haven't actually read this book." - Dave Barry, author of Tricky Business

"Fast-paced...(a) cross between Carl Hiaasen and Thomas Harris."- Publishers Weekly

"Engaging... full of humor... fans of Janet Evanovich will like this."- Library Journal

"Pithy banter... it's like a Monty Python rendition of a crime novel."- The Courier

"Put me down for another round of Lieutenant Jack Daniels." - Andrew Vachss, author of Another Life

"A literary cocktail that'll knock you off your chair." - Ridley Pearson, author of White Bone

From the Author

JA KONRATH BIBLIOGRAPHY

For the completists, or those with a bit of obsessive/compulsiveness, or the folks that just like my stuff and want to know how it all connects, I have a lot of recurring characters and intertwined series. If you need to know the best reading order, or how to make sure you haven't missed anything, check out the bibliography page on my website. You can also visit there to see when a new title will be released.

If you're just looking for a quick checklist, here are my main series.

These do not have to be read in any particular order, but I encourage you to read them all.

JACQUELINE "JACK" DANIELS THRILLERS
#1-Whiskey Sour
#2-Bloody Mary
#3-Rusty Nail
#4-Dirty Martini
#5-Fuzzy Navel
#6-Cherry Bomb
#7-Shaken
#8-Stirred (with Blake Crouch)
#9-Rum Runner
#10-Last Call
#11-White Russian
#12-Shot Girl
#13-Chaser
#14-Old Fashioned
#15-Bite Force
#16-Jack Rose
Bonus #2.5-Lady 52 (with Jude Hardin)

JACK DANIELS AND ASSOCIATES MYSTERIES
#1-Dead On My Feet
#2-Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 1
#3-Shot Of Tequila
#4-Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 2
#5-Dying Breath
#6-Serial Killers Uncut (with Blake Crouch)
#7-Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 3
#8-Everybody Dies
#9-Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 4
#10-Banana Hammock

THE KONRATH DARK THRILLER COLLECTIVE
#1-The List
#2-Origin
#3-Afraid
#4-Trapped
#5-Endurance
#6-Haunted House
#7-Webcam
#8-Disturb
#9-What Happened To Lori
#10-The Nine
#11-Second Coming
#12-Close Your Eyes
Bonus #4.5-Holes in the Ground (with Iain Rob Wright)
Bonus #5.5-Draculas (with Blake Crouch, Jeff Strand, F. Paul Wilson)
Bonus #6.5-Grandma? (with Talon Konrath)

TIMECASTER
#1-Timecaster
#2-Timecaster Supersymmetry
#3-Timecaster Steampunk

CODENAME: CHANDLER (Ann Voss Peterson & JA Konrath)
#1-Flee
#2-Spree
#3-Three
#4-Hit
#5-Exposed
#6-Naughty
#7-Fix (with F. Paul Wilson)
#8-Rescue

STOP A MURDER PUZZLE BOOKS
#1-How: Puzzles 1-12
#2-Where: Puzzles 13-24
#3-Why: Puzzles 25-36
#4-Who: Puzzles 37-48
#5-When: Puzzles 49-60
#6-Answers
Stop A Murder Complete Cases (Book 1-5)

MISCELLANEOUS
65 Proof - Collected Short Stories
The Globs Of Use-A-Lot 3 (With Dan Maderak)

EROTICA
Ann Voss Peterson & Joe Konrath writing as Melinda DuChamp

MAKE ME BLUSH series
#1-Kinky Secrets Of Mister Kink
#2-Kinky Secrets Of Witches
#3-Kinky Secrets Of Six & Candy

ALICE series
#1-Kinky Secrets Of Alice In Wonderland
#2-Kinky Secrets Of Alice Through The Looking Glass
#3-Kinky Secrets Of Alice At The Hellfire Club
#4-Kinky Secrets Of Alice Vs. Dracula
#5-Kinky Secrets Of Alice Vs. Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde
#6-Kinky Secrets Of Alice Vs. Frankenstein
#7-Kinky Secrets Of Alice's Christmas Special

JEZEBEL series
#1-Kinky Secrets Of Jezebel And The Beanstalk
#2-Kinky Secrets Of Puss In Boots
#3-Kinky Secrets Of Goldilocks

SEXPERTS series
#1-The Sexperts - Kinky Grades Of Shay
#2-The Sexperts - Kinky Secrets Of The Pearl Necklace
#3-The Sexperts - Kinky Secrets Of The Alien

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B004P1J2U4
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Joe Konrath
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ February 22, 2011
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 963 KB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 62 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 out of 5 stars 189 ratings

About the author

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J. A. Konrath

J. A. Konrath

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Joe Konrath has written over twenty novels in the Lt. Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels thriller series. They do not have to be read chronologically to be enjoyed, but the order is: Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Shot of Tequila, Fuzzy Navel, Cherry Bomb, Dead On My Feet, Serial Killers Uncut (with Blake Crouch), Shaken, Stirred (with Blake Crouch), Dying Breath, Everybody Dies, Rum Runner, Last Call, White Russian, Shot Girl, Chaser, Old Fashioned, Bite Force, and Witch Brew. More coming soon.

Wow, that's a lot of Jack.

If you like your thrillers on the dark side, check out the Konrath Dark Thriller Collective, which includes the books The List, Origin, Afraid, Trapped, Endurance, Haunted House, Webcam, Disturb, What Happened To Lori, The Nine, Second Coming, and Close Your Eyes.

Joe also wrote the Stop A Murder mystery puzzle series, where you become the sleuth and solve brain teasers to try and catch a killer.

He also wrote the sci-fi trilogy, Timecaster, Timecaster Supersymmetry, and Timecaster Steampunk. Even if you don't think you like sci-fi, give them a try. They feature Joe's well-known characters from his other series, and are insane.

With Ann Voss Peterson he wrote the Codename: Chandler thrillers, including Flee, Spree, Three, Hit, Exposed, Naughty, Fix (with F. Paul Wilson), Rescue, and Free.

And, finally, he writes erotica under the pen name Melinda DuChamp, also with Ann Voss Peterson. Those books are probably too spicy for you, so only the brave and bold should seek them out.

Joe writes a lot. You should probably read everything.

You can visit Joe and sign up for his newsletter at www.JAKonrath.com/mailing-list.php

Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
189 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book hilarious, with one noting Konrath's unique style of writing. The story receives positive feedback for its imaginative premise and quick pace, while customers appreciate the interesting characters. The writing quality is praised for being easy to read in one sitting.

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HumorStory qualityPaceWriting qualityCharacter development
50 customers mention "Humor"44 positive6 negative

Customers find the book humorous, describing it as a silly fun short story with lots of wit.

"...the mythos and history behind the story, to be delightfully new and fun. Genuinely entertaining. The story wasn't perfect...." Read more

"...All in all, however, Shapeshifters Anonymous was an enjoyable read full of chuckles and laughs that really brightened my day...." Read more

"AMAZING book with lots of wit and humor and of course that "it could happen to a friend of a friend" realness that makes Konrath's writing..." Read more

"This story was sexy and funny but fighting santas are not my idea of bad guys." Read more

28 customers mention "Story quality"20 positive8 negative

Customers enjoy the story quality of the book, describing it as imaginative and awesome, with one customer noting it's never a dull moment.

"...but when I saw Shapeshifters Anonymous, I just had to get it. It's not horror, more urban fantasy, and that was okay because I've been reading quite..." Read more

"...occupies only 80% of the Kindle download, the story has a definitive beginning and ending with a logical progression of plot in between...." Read more

"...each with their own shapeshifting personality, crazy plotline..." Read more

"...Parts of the plot felt a bit rushed, such as the romance. Not out of place, just rushed...." Read more

18 customers mention "Pace"17 positive1 negative

Customers appreciate the pace of the book, describing it as a great short story that moves quickly.

"...As the story progresses at a swift pace, there's never a dull moment, even with the most mundane things, and the chuckles progress to outright..." Read more

"...be a sequel because I fell in love with the characters and the story had a great vibe but like a good author Konrath didn't overdo any of the quips..." Read more

"...the story has a definitive beginning and ending with a logical progression of plot in between...." Read more

"...I was more than pleasantly surprised! The book is short and can easily be read in one sitting, which is a big plus for me...." Read more

7 customers mention "Writing quality"7 positive0 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the book, noting that it can be read in one sitting, with one customer highlighting the crisp dialog.

"...And the dialog is crisp, filled with puns and double entendre and quick repartee...." Read more

"...The book is short and can easily be read in one sitting, which is a big plus for me. I found the book hilarious...." Read more

"...The writing is typical of the author, though; you can always expect wit, laughter and crisp writing from this author." Read more

"...The authors created a well written , fast paced and fun paranormal .I hope that they will create more because this was a great great fresh and..." Read more

6 customers mention "Character development"6 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the characters in the book, finding them interesting and colorful, with one customer noting how the story jumps right into the main character's perspective.

"...His characters are very realistic; as you meet them, you roll your eyes because you know people like this exist, and maybe you've even met some of..." Read more

"...The story is cast with colorful characters (including a furry, ironically), each with their own shapeshifting personality, crazy plotline..." Read more

"...You jump right in with the main character and learn as he goes through some interesting times. I enjoyed the humor and couldn't put it down...." Read more

"...The characters are laughable. I honestly thought this would be a serious read but it took an unexpected twist...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Edward Kuns
    5.0 out of 5 stars I really enjoyed this short little story
    Reviewed in the United States on January 7, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    This story left me wanting for more. I found the basic concept, the mythos and history behind the story, to be delightfully new and fun. Genuinely entertaining.

    The story wasn't perfect. Maybe if it were longer, some of the issues of timing would resolve themselves more naturally. Parts of the plot felt a bit rushed, such as the romance. Not out of place, just rushed. I would definitely pay (again) for a longer version of this story, or for a longer story about different people set in the same universe.

    All-in-all, I'm happy to rate this story with 5 stars. While it had some weaknesses, I was so delighted by the read that the weaknesses do not get in the way of the entertainment.

    Everyone has different taste, and not every book is for every person. While Konrath has mostly written in the horror or thriller genres, this story does not have the feel of horror to me. It's closer to urban fantasy, which is more my taste than horror is anyway (generally speaking). If you are looking for deep literature, this is not the story you're looking for. If you're looking for horror, read the reviews (even though people are terrible about not giving spoiler warnings) and decide for yourself. If you're looking for a story with no juvenile humor, this may not be for you. Konrath has a particular style, a particular kind of humor frequents many of this books. It's not for everyone (as I can tell by the reviews), but I enjoy it immensely.

    My biggest complaint about this story is that it is too short. I want more!
    3 people found this helpful
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  • M. J. Evans
    4.0 out of 5 stars Hi, My Name is Robert, and I'm a Werewolf. . .
    Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2011
    Verified Purchase
    Until recently, I've only associated mysteries with the name Konrath. I have since learned that he also writes horror. I have a few in my TBR pile, which has grown exponentially within the past year (curse you, Kindle!), but when I saw Shapeshifters Anonymous, I just had to get it. It's not horror, more urban fantasy, and that was okay because I've been reading quite a bit in that genre as well. It's also comedic. I knew Konrath could be humorous--I've read Draculas, but since that was a collaborative effort, I wasn't sure exactly how much was him and how much was coming from the other authors. And because it dealt with shifters (and the fact that it was short), it jumped to the top of the pile.

    Robert Weston Smith has a problem. He's a healthy individual: works out regularly at the gym, watches what he eats, and practices yoga and tai chi. So why, for the past three months or so, has he been finding strange items in his poop? That's what he hopes the doctor will tell him.

    A physical examination produces a coat button, part of a zipper, and sixty-three cents in change, but no answers. The doctor suggests he visit a shrink, but Robert doesn't think that's going to provide any answers, but he promises to keep the appointment. When he returns home, he has a run-in with his annoying gypsy neighbor and her yappie little dog. Inside his apartment, he promptly passes out, not waking up until the next morning, which is when, upon going to the bathroom, he finds evidence that he has eaten his annoying neighbor. . . And her little dog, too. Realizing that the shrink isn't going to be of much good, he turns to the internet to find his answers. With growing horror, he was able to piece together a mystery, which only serves to make him more desperate to find answers. He continues to surf the web. After hitting one dead end after another, he stumbles across Shapeshifters Anonymous. What does he have to lose? He calls them and is told there is a meeting that afternoon. Before he can head out, he needs to swing by the doctor's office to pick up something they found in his stool sample--a sterling silver crucifix. On his way, he is accosted by a psychotic Santa, who delivers a rather cryptic message. He shrugs it off, thinking the guy nothing more than mentally imbalanced; he has more important things on his mind. The fun really begins when he arrives at the meeting.

    You wouldn't think a guy on the verge of a nervous breakdown would be humorous, but in Konrath's skilled hands, it is. Almost from the very beginning, the chuckles start. You try not to laugh at Weston's plight (not with the strange items in your poop, but the whole embarrassment at having to take your stool sample to the doctor's office) because you can very easily picture yourself in the same situation, but you just can't help yourself. In that respect, Konrath's lead character becomes an Every Man. His characters are very realistic; as you meet them, you roll your eyes because you know people like this exist, and maybe you've even met some of them. From the pleasantly obnoxious nurse who seems to make it her life's mission to embarrass you in the crowded waiting room to the equally annoying kid full of questions to the parents who are reluctant to own up to the ill-mannered monster you just want to backhand.

    As the story progresses at a swift pace, there's never a dull moment, even with the most mundane things, and the chuckles progress to outright laughter. If I was in doubt about Konrath's ability to do humor, this squelched any doubts I might have had.

    My only issue, and you know there's always going to be one, is the romantic element that enters the story once Weston arrives at the SA meeting. Those who have read my reviews in the past know how I feel about romance in horror fiction. The same can be applied here. Too fast, too soon, improperly timed. I won't bore you with the details. Just let it be said that Weston's panting over Irena was not my favorite part of the story.

    All in all, however, Shapeshifters Anonymous was an enjoyable read full of chuckles and laughs that really brightened my day. If you have the afternoon free, I would highly recommend it. You won't need more than a couple of hours, depending on how fast you read, as it isn't very long.
    6 people found this helpful
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  • CrochetMama
    5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome AWESOME story! Not to be missed!
    Reviewed in the United States on March 27, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    AMAZING book with lots of wit and humor and of course that "it could happen to a friend of a friend" realness that makes Konrath's writing awesome in general! I wish the book was longer or there was going to be a sequel because I fell in love with the characters and the story had a great vibe but like a good author Konrath didn't overdo any of the quips or drag the story out for more page volume. I have to say this is probably one of the few (two to be exact) stories/books I'd re-read because it was that good and so much fun!
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  • Cherie
    3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
    Reviewed in the United States on March 29, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    This story was sexy and funny but fighting santas are not my idea of bad guys.
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Carol Brown
    5.0 out of 5 stars STRANGE YET FUNNY
    Reviewed in France on March 3, 2014
    Verified Purchase
    I confess I've never read this author before but, with his multiple writing identities and diverse topics, I figured a short story would be the perfect medium to decide whether his work was to my taste.

    My 5-star rating should give you a clue. I enjoyed myself tremendously. I'm not well versed in were-whatever-animal but I had never considered the premise that someone might not know for certain he/she was also an "it" and therefore, might need a group to help them grasp that fact... Won't give any spoilers here, not with a short story, but again, I had a great time reading it. I loved the style and I loved the mind behind the style... You should too!
    Report
  • PJ Bookish
    5.0 out of 5 stars S.A. rocks!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 28, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    I saw the title and blurb and knew I had to read this book. Therianthropes as the good guys with their own helpful society, while the supposed benevolent ones are outed as evildoers!
    Hilarious, I felt bad for Weston even though he had eaten people. The others are a fun band of misfits too. A unique take on shapeshifters and the problems they face.
    It would be fantastic if it was really true.
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  • Biz
    5.0 out of 5 stars A chuckle a minute.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 9, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    They say (writer advisors, that is) a writer should leave a golden nugget on every page.
    Check that box. Joe serves up a treat of a quick read here and leaves a golden nugget in just about every paragraph, never mind every page.
    The humour rocks from beginning to end.
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  • zomlee
    5.0 out of 5 stars Howlingly funny
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 29, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    The only problem with this book,its not long enough,other than that it's brilliant. When's book 2 coming out? I so want to read the next instalment.
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  • t williams
    5.0 out of 5 stars Witty and entertaining
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 29, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Quirky small story and yes silly! Loved it was smart funny and endearing. Had something other stories lack heart humour and style
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