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Ella Harper
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If I Fall: An unputdownable and emotional novel about love, loss and friendship Kindle Edition

by Ella Harper (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.0 out of 5 stars 852 ratings

Four university friends, four devastating secrets.

I’m really sorry for what I’m about to do...

It’s fifteen years since graduation, and Connie, Jonas, JJ and Layla have managed to remain close despite the odds. They’ve supported each other, but are some things too big for friendship?

Connie is desperate to maintain the veneer of perfect family life.

Jonas is feeling the pressure at work.

Layla’s career is unravelling thanks to her ill mother

JJ’s past is catching up with him.

When they stumble and fall, who will be there to catch them?

A truly powerful and unforgettable story of love, friendship, and real life, If I Fall is perfect for readers of Alice Peterson, Amanda Prowse and Lianne Moriarty.

Praise for Ella Harper:

‘You won’t be able to stop reading’ Heat Magazine

‘A great book to curl up with’ Daily Mail

‘Warm, perceptive and razor sharp. It’s everything you want from a novel’ Veronica Henry

‘I have a feeling this book will stay with me for a long time’ Lilac Mills

'Such a beautifully heart-breaking novel, written with such poise, strength and power.' The Writing Garnet

'I couldn’t put it down. I went without sleep to finish this book... If I Fall would definitely make my 2018 must-read list' Writerly Ways

'Highly recommended, but be prepared for tears!’ Stardust Book Reviews

‘This book was heartbreaking but beautiful...Such a joy to read, while holding back tears’ Til Then Smile Often

‘Only very rarely does a book come along that captures me and engages me as much as this one did… But don't despair, the ending was uplifting and filled with promise’ Bookish Bits

‘I finished the book with a whopping big lump in my throat but with joy in my heart’ JaffaReads

‘Wonderful, heart-breaking and poignant… The story touched me to the core with its deeply moving plot, beautiful characters and a unique, inspiring and insightful plot’ Read Day and Night

‘I had tears in my eyes’ Bookworms and Shutterbugs

‘A beautiful emotional story… I shed quite a few tears while reading this book. It's a marvellous must-read’ With Love for Books

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  1. Print length
    270 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Canelo
  4. Accessibility
    Learn more
  5. Publication date
    January 22, 2018
  6. File size
    509 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B078JPGMS3
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Canelo
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 22, 2018
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 509 KB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 270 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1911420460
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.0 out of 5 stars 852 ratings

About the author

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Ella Harper

Ella Harper

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Customer reviews

4 out of 5 stars
852 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Lisa M. St. John
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great story of 4 friends
    Reviewed in the United States on December 15, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    Easy read and kept me hooked until the last page!
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  • Kindle Customer
    4.0 out of 5 stars Moving story that you can't put down
    Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    Amazing stories of the four friends. Shows problems can happen to anyone in all walks of life. Help is available.
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  • Kitty
    4.0 out of 5 stars 4 old friends...4 interlocking lives. A suicide note - but who wrote it?
    Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2018
    A book that starts with a suicide note is always going to grab your attention, and If I Fall is no different.
     
    4 friends, 4 interlocking lives. Connie, Jonas, JJ and Layla were best friends at University. JJ and Connie were an item, but after an abrupt ending to their romantic relationship, they both moved on and Jonas, who had always had a thing for Connie, got his girl. Fast forward 15 years or so and the four are still in touch. Connie & Jonas are married with two daughters. Layla has become a psychotherapist and is dealing with her aged Mum who is exhibiting signs of early-onset dementia, and JJ is a good-time-guy, a healthy living personal trainer who quite often likes to take his work home with him…especially if they leave without a fuss in the morning.
     
    Through the different narratives, we learn about these four very different people and the web of deceit that is woven through their lives. It shows how the irrepressible confidence and ambition of youth can slowly dissipate without anyone really noticing. One day you have the world at your feet, the next you're wondering where the time went.  They've all got their problems which are growing by the day, and we are left to wonder which one of them it is that is going to fall, and when they do, if anyone will catch them.
     
    In 'If I fall' Ella Harper has concocted a really interesting set of characters with intricate and difficult relationships with each other and the outside world. You build a relationship with each of the characters, although some are easier to like than others. The futility of lying to yourself is exposed - it never lasts forever. Added to the detailed character building, there are a couple of jaw dropping and raw moments which are always good to come across unexpectedly. The narrative flow felt a little stilted at times when switching back and forth between characters but that's often the case with multiple viewpoints and it didn't stop me easily following what was going on.
     
    I really enjoyed getting to know Connie, Jonas, JJ and Layla and I think that fans of Lianne Moriarty & Amanda Prowse will really enjoy this book.
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  • Sammie B.
    4.0 out of 5 stars Heartbreaking and Real - A Fantastic Read
    Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2018
    If I Fall is a heart-wrenching, realistic story of four friends who realize life doesn’t always turn out the way you expect. Torn apart by secrets and internal struggles, who will catch them when they all hit rock bottom?

    If I Fall opens with four college students—JJ, Layla, Jonas, and Connie—dreaming about their future. They have it all figured out, as college students do. JJ will become a fitness instructor, Layla will be a psychiatrist, Connie will be a journalist, and Jonas will become an attorney. And, of course, they’ll all live happily ever after.

    Flash forward fifteen years, and life hasn’t turned out exactly how they planned. Despite still being good friends, they’re all keeping secrets from each other, and these secrets are threatening to weigh them down. Jonas is bucking for a partner position, and in the meantime, he’s starting to bow under the stress of his job and his resentment towards his boss is growing to unhealthy heights. JJ has become a womanizer, alone and seeking the love he lost in college. Layla’s convinced her mother has dementia, but she’s afraid to get her diagnosed, because for now, she can live in denial, but once it’s official, the problem becomes all too real. Connie is a stay-at-home mother running a blog and trying her best to support her husband, Jonas.

    Everything comes to a head as their worlds fall apart, and though they swore to be there for each other, they’re all hiding a secret that has the potential to destroy their worlds. A dark presence from JJ’s past, one he’s refused to tell anyone about, has come to call. Layla realizes she can’t care for her mother and have a life of her own. Jonas begins to resent all the pressure he’s under and goes on a self-destructive bent. And Connie is realizing that maybe her marriage is beyond saving.

    All four find themselves falling, hitting rock bottom, and in their most desperate moments, they contemplate the truth about life and whether it’s even worth living.

    The Good:

    - Ella Harper creates fabulous, relatable characters. As the book is character-driven, this is important. They ranged the emotional gambit, and every one of them felt realistic and fleshed-out. More importantly, I cared about them, because their situations were ones that people I’ve known have faced, and the way they approached them felt genuine and authentic.

    - There’s a very strong theme of falling and having someone to catch you that carried throughout the book, and that was really well done. It was thought-provoking and, at times, gut-wrenching. By the end, it was clear what a devastating effect secrets can have, even when they’re well-intended. Sometimes soldiering on isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

    - I couldn’t put it down. I went without sleep to finish this book, because by midway through, I was fully invested. I could see things spiraling, and of course I wanted a happy ending, and darn it, I was going to see it through at that point.

    - If I Fall touches on a lot of very painful life events, but it doesn’t go easy on it. It shows the struggles for what they are, all the messy, brutalness of it. At the same time, there are plenty of funny moments. It’s not all doom and gloom. At the heart of the characters, like people, they want to be happy and lead good lives, regardless of the circumstances they find themselves in.

    The Bad:

    - The book opens with a prologue. It’s intentionally kept mysterious, but there’s no indication of how it fits in with the story. Names are intentionally not used. It’s not mentioned or brought up again until almost 90% of the way through the book. I didn’t even know where it sat in the timeline. I found that extremely frustrating. It all made sense and tied up nicely in the end, of course, but I found the lead-in with that more of a detriment than anything.

    - At some points, especially towards the middle of the book, the struggles became repetitive. It was a will she/won’t she situation, especially with Connie, to the point where I just wanted to shake her and tell her to make a decision and move on with it. This is a double-edged sword, because it’s realistic, and the way the character approached her struggles was realistic, but at the same time, it was annoying to read.

    - Jonas. Just everything about his character by mid-story was ugh. I guess you can’t like everyone in life, so this is also a double-edged sword. The character is realistic. But that doesn’t make him likeable. But since he’s a point of view character, it makes it hard getting through his chapters when you just can’t stand the guy.

    - The end wrapped up far too quickly and too neatly. I don’t want to give any spoilers away, but I will say that it felt extremely rushed. The end end was fine, and I was content with the actual ending, but the denouement left much to be desired. I’ll just leave it at that.

    All in all, I’d give it a solid four stars. It starts a little slow, which is to be expected for a character-driven novel, as you get used to the characters and start to get attached. But as I said, I couldn’t put it down once it built up. The struggle was so realistic, and I easily empathized with them all. In the end, the themes are things we all face: how do we cope when life doesn’t turn out the way we had expected, and who will pull us up when we hit rock bottom? If I Fall would definitely make my 2018 must-read list.

    Disclaimer: I received a free ARC copy of this from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Simona Elena
    4.0 out of 5 stars Full of surprises!
    Reviewed in the United States on February 11, 2018
    *Book provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review*

    The book tells the story of four friends, who were best friends at uni. Now, 15 years later things have changed and life has caught up with them.

    Connie struggles to keep her family together, her husband Jonas has a lot of pressure at work and things are not easy. Their marriage is in a bad place. JJ is a personal trainer and seems to have it all, but his past comes back to haunt him. Layla struggles with work and then there is also her mother.

    All for of them are under a lot of pressure and they have to find a way to deal with it all.

    The book is full of surprises, intensity and emotions. It covers love, family and friendship. Ella Harper includes difficult topics in this book and there is a lot of drama included.

    The ending of the book was a bit too rushed for me and the storyline had different dynamics, which stopped the flow.
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  • Zoe (whatsbetterthanbooks)
    4.0 out of 5 stars Sobering, compelling, and incredibly intense!
    Reviewed in the United States on February 10, 2018
    If I Fall is a complex, character-driven novel that delves into how much friendships can define us and highlights how secrets, lies, and unspoken words can emotionally and psychologically impact them.

    The writing is somber and raw. The characters are multifaceted, desperate, and broken. And the plot, using multiple perspectives, is an engaging, edgy tale about life, loss, love, heartbreak, deception, jealousy, abuse, friendship, and family.

    If I Fall is truly a poignant novel that reminds us that life is unpredictable and full of ups and downs and true friends are those who are there not only in the good times, but more importantly during the hard ones.
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Top reviews from other countries

  • MGSM
    4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful look at private struggles
    Reviewed in Australia on June 16, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    This was a great read, with an insightful look at the lives of four friends, and how even close friends don't always see what's going on, but can still be there to help.
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  • C Nickson
    5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this book
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 26, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    I absolutely loved this book. I read it quickly as it definitely pulled me in and I loved all the different strands to it, and then how it was all tied up by the end!
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  • Carlene
    5.0 out of 5 stars A GREAT READ, one of my best
    Reviewed in Australia on November 13, 2018
    Verified Purchase
    I've never given a 5 Star Rating, but this Book, this Story covered it all.
    Four friends who met at Uni, their lives, friendships, relationships their stories, are still there, affecting them years later, but that RARE kind of FRIENDSHIP/LOVE (if you are lucky) remained through the dark, tough and unimaginable times, to help an save... a book I read till the early hours... a brilliant story, written by an absolutely Brilliant Author.
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  • Eileen Aherne
    1.0 out of 5 stars Not a nice read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 4, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Found it hard to follow
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  • elmfield ,Dublin
    5.0 out of 5 stars changing lives
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 25, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    A brilliant read into how life changes as we grow through it and face challenges that can be overcome with time patience & friendships & the ever needed love.
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