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Walt Pilcher
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On Shallowed Ground: including Dr Barker's Scientific Metamorphical Prostate Health Formula® and Other Stories, Poems, Comedy and Dark Matter from the Center of the Universe Kindle Edition

by Walt Pilcher (Author), Heather Murphy (Illustrator) Format: Kindle Edition
4.8 out of 5 stars 12 ratings
On Shallowed Ground:
including Dr Barker's Scientific Metamorphical Prostate Health Formula® and Other Stories, Poems, Comedy and Dark Matter from the Center of the Universe
by Walt Pilcher

The Wittiest Book You’ll ever Read?

A new take on alien abduction. The best religion. Moses gets an 11th Commandment. A doting father has himself declared dead. A baker’s new recipe for herself. A literally lighthearted look at prostates. Barbecue rustlers of the Old West. Predicting the future by remembering the past. The village idiot goes to Washington. A 30-second tour of Germany (no speed limit on the Autobahn). Bunches of soup and cookies using new colloquial government weights and measures. The danger of going backwards through a Walmart emergency exit. Superhero flying lessons, recycled silver bullets, revolting hippies, and so much more.

Plus an interactive story where you get to choose the surprise ending.

Walt Pilcher’s stories, poems and songs are literary depth charges—you’ll explode with laughter when you least expect it.

Always fun and often profound.

You’ll be glad you didn’t skip school the day they taught reading!
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  1. Print length
    274 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    December 29, 2015
  4. File size
    1.4 MB
  5. Page Flip
    Enabled
  6. Word Wise
    Enabled
  7. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B019ZGPVDK
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Fantastic Books Publishing
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ December 29, 2015
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ 1st
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1.4 MB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 274 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1909163843
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 out of 5 stars 12 ratings

About the author

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Walt Pilcher

Walt Pilcher

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Walt Pilcher and his wife, Carol, an artist, live in High Point, North Carolina, have three children and six grandchildren, and attend Grace Church in High Point. Walt holds a BA from Wesleyan University and an MBA from Stanford University. Although a two-time victim of corporate downsizing long before it was cool (not unlike his protagonist, Mark Fairley), he eventually became president of two major apparel companies in the U.S. (including L’eggs Products – the pantyhose in plastic eggs) and one in Japan, although not all at the same time, and lived in Tokyo for 14 months during which two comedians were elected as governors of Japan’s biggest cities. We are not making this up.

Walt’s comedy writing career overlapped his business writing career, and it was often impossible to tell them apart. Published works include On Shallowed Ground, including Dr. Barker’s Scientific Metamorphical Prostate Health Formula® and other Stories, Poems, Comedy and Dark Matter from the Center of the Universe and the comedy novels Everybody Shrugged, The Accidental Spurrt®, and Killing O’Carolan (the latter two comprising The Mark Fairley Mystery series), all from Fantastic Books Publishing. His non-fiction book, The Five-fold Effect: Unlocking Power Leadership for Amazing Results in Your Organization (WestBow Press), was a First Horizon Award finalist in the 2015 Eric Hoffer Book Award competition.

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/waltpilcher

Facebook: www.facebook.com/walt.pilcher

Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
12 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers enjoy the book's gentle commentary on life's absurdities and clever poems. The book is entertaining from beginning to end, and customers appreciate its intelligence, with one review noting how it offers insights into human nature.

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8 customers mention "Humor"8 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the book's humor, particularly its gentle commentary on life's absurdities and clever poems.

"...The short stories offer insights to human nature, gentle commentary on life’s absurdities, and just plain fun. Among my favorites is “Bob from BEP”...." Read more

"...Yet, in the midst of this unparalleled adventure of gripping humor and high anxiety, Pilcher treats us to simply lovely and contemplative poetic..." Read more

"...a promotion for it in a writer's group on facebook, and the copy made me laugh out loud...." Read more

"...Truthfully, it was the humor that I most enjoyed. It always caught me when I wasn't looking for it. And that is a real compliment...." Read more

4 customers mention "Entertainment value"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the book entertaining from beginning to end.

"...to human nature, gentle commentary on life’s absurdities, and just plain fun. Among my favorites is “Bob from BEP”...." Read more

"What a treat! This book is entertaining from beginning to end, depending on which end you choose. Crank up the William Tell Overture...." Read more

"...wields a pen that is at once witty, sometimes irreverent, and always fun, with a a bit of pathos thrown in now and then for good measure...." Read more

"Witty, irreverent, surprisingly fresh and provoking. A good, fun read!" Read more

3 customers mention "Intelligence"3 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the intelligence of the book, with one review noting its serious intellectual content and another mentioning how it offers insights into human nature.

"...The short stories offer insights to human nature, gentle commentary on life’s absurdities, and just plain fun. Among my favorites is “Bob from BEP”...." Read more

"...; You’ll find these treasures, and more, clearly elucidated in his chapter entitled "Differential Overview of Bounds within the Religion of the..." Read more

"...Gotta be You." Walt Pilcher is (as he might have put in the book) clever, witty and intelligent...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Dr Robert E Murphy
    5.0 out of 5 stars A delightful collection of whimsy, quirky poems, and a gentle commentary on life’s absurdities
    Reviewed in the United States on March 19, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    Walt Pilcher’s “On Shallowed Ground” is a delightful collection of whimsy. If you like word play, this is your book! If you like chasing a nimble mind across a field of ideas like a bumble bee in a flower garden on a gusty day, this is your book! If you like to fall asleep reading a book, this is not your book.

    There are short, quirky poems. One suspects that his mother must have read him the works of Ogden Nash when he was a child. A prime example is “Lament of the Expected Parent”
    “Apparently I’m going to be a parent.
    Lament, lament, lament.
    I’d rather just go and stick my head in
    cement, cement, cement.”

    There are other short poems, apparently serious. Not my cup of tea, but others will like them. The quirky ones abound though, and I am well pleased! Look for “When Superheroes Learn to Fly” to eavesdrop on a dialog between an angst-ridden teen-aged Clark Kent and his earthly dad. You can’t make this stuff up, but Mr. Pilcher can!

    The short stories offer insights to human nature, gentle commentary on life’s absurdities, and just plain fun. Among my favorites is “Bob from BEP”. It’s about a (sadly) fictional government agency that cuts thru mindless rules to help the willing ignore them when all rationality says, “this is stupid”. An airline pilot is approached by “Bob from BEP” after sitting on the tarmac at a small airport for hours, unable to return to the gate to give his passengers a bathroom break because the TSA agents have gone home. “Bob from BEP” asks him if he has any terrorists on board. Well, no, they have all been cleared by TSA. Bob then points out that, if he keeps them confined for another few hours, he may indeed have some terrorists on board! Let them go! And that is just the beginning of this story.

    Pilcher also introduces the idea of “fictional non-fiction”. A great idea, but after reading this book, you may realize that there is already a lot of “fictional non-fiction” out there. It just isn’t labeled. But his is, meaning, perhaps, that his is actually non-fiction “fictional non-fiction”. That is the way he gets your mind going! Hop on, and enjoy the ride.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Jerry Swift
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Masterpiece of Fast Paced Wit Tempered with Gripping Suspense
    Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    A masterpiece of fast paced wit, "On Shallowed Ground" comes with enough twists and turns to keep the reader surprised with delight and laughing uncontrollably, except when gripping the arms of their favorite reading chair induced by the paralyzing suspense that can only come from the pen of an author able to capture the imagination of the reader and not let it go! (Fortunately, there’s a panic button at the end of the book.)

    We are also treated to a serious work of intellect in the chapter on teleological analysis. We discover that there is an answer to the meaning of life! Walt Pilcher, through means and technology still a mystery to scientists and psychics alike, has delivered to us, from the center of the universe, "The Meaning." And, as an exclusive bonus, if you are brave enough to follow him to the ultimate destination, you will also be introduced to the best of cosmic cuisine, “Alien for Dinner.” I don’t want to give away the climax but, that said, it’s the secret sauce that makes the difference.

    Yet, in the midst of this unparalleled adventure of gripping humor and high anxiety, Pilcher treats us to simply lovely and contemplative poetic compositions. There’s a bit of Haiku, free verse, sonnet, pastoral and other styles together serving as a relaxing digestif after all that chortling.

    Finally, for those of you who love contemplating the somewhat ephemeral but profound speculations of Kant, Hume, Wittgenstein and Ayer, Pilcher treats us to his own, cathartic insights into philosophical "Syndactylism." You’ll find these treasures, and more, clearly elucidated in his chapter entitled "Differential Overview of Bounds within the Religion of the Analytic, or Categorically Metaphysical."

    Yes, there is so much variety in this book that no matter what your interest you’ll come away enlightened and best of all, you will be able to impress your friends and even your rabbi or pastor! (Oy vey ist mir!)

    So please: buy the e-book, download and enjoy! It’s only $5.92, about the same price as a Grande Cappuccino at Starbucks. You can’t drink or eat it, but it lasts a whole lot longer! I am so enthusiastic about this book that I recommend it to everyone, even my mother-in-law. And that’s saying something!
    One person found this helpful
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