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A King of Cartoons Kindle Edition

3.8 out of 5 stars 11 ratings

Abraham Keen’s world is under attack.

The all-powerful tech-conglomerate, House of Never has abducted his estranged son and liquidated his crusading charity. Now he’s on the run from their agents, fleeing the corrupt politics of Old York to the permanently frozen city state of Venice, onto the Candyland War and the Commonwealth of Swine, Tokyo’s exit-less Hotel Always and a never-ending street populated by digital refugees. He tumbles through cartoonishly distorted worlds searching for answers.

Why does House of Never want to destroy him?

Can he trust his fractured memories?

And is his quest for the truth causing reality to unravel at the seams?

From the Publisher

A lantern-lit dark n street populated by an eccentric looking cast of characters

A King of Cartoons

"An involving, deliberately hazy tale with a radiant, multispecies cast." - Kirkus Reviews

"Dazzlingly imaginative; a thrilling box of magic from an intelligent and distinctive voice." - Michael Marshall Smith, New York Times Bestselling author.

Dystopian city scape of Old York

Welcome to Old York.

So, want to watch again?

You do?

Okay, follow me and we’ll find a place to begin. Dramatists are urged to open their tales in the middle of the action. With my story, that’s problematic. Never mind; this moment will suffice. It’s where I usually choose to begin. It isn’t the start, but the start is rarely the beginning, if you follow my drift. You don’t? Don’t worry, you will eventually.

Old York

Abraham keen

Captain Pinn

Lord Charles

Frozen canal in Venice

Venice City State: House of Never HQ

Abraham remembered the day when it had bought Venice. Only House of Never had the colossal financial muscle and scientific brilliance to save the drowning city. It became a question of sell or sink for the city fathers. Despite their sorrow at having to hand over their city to such a rapacious conglomerate, their pride was such that they could not bear to preside over its demise. And so, Venice was sold to House of Never. Within half a dozen years, Venice had become House of Never, their names inseparable. The vast dome erected over the city allowed the creation of a perpetual artificial winter. Venice was frozen in place, denying the eroding waters the last few years it required to claim this merchant city and its history.

Venice City State: House of Never HQ

Annie Keen

Ms Harriman

Joe Keen

Screming monsters wearing military fatigues

Welcome to Candyland.

Candyland was established in mid-state Florida. It was a mini country in its own right, with villages and towns manufactured from candy. Now you could head for your favourite flavoured city: Honey Point, Strawberry Cream City, St Pistachio or a hundred others, and feed until you puked. Added to this were the candy people. Using the emergent chip technologies used to give personality and memory to animals in the Confabulatory Cuisine movement, a population of talking candy people moved into these cities, filling the roles of tour guides, bellboys, hostesses and entertainers. And, of course, they acted as an extra source of candy. The candies would put on a juggling extravaganza, show you round their village and then invite you into their home to dine on their children.

Candyland creatures

Boise

Hoops

Humphrey Bogart

Super high hotel towers above dystopian Tokyo

Early Reviews of the Hotel Always

…was certainly no disappointment. And the guest will always be able to say that the hotel supplied a different angle on their visit to Tokyo. The hotel is big on angles. Some of them have more than 360 degrees. Hey, that’s four-dimensional hotels for you…

…a very interesting byproduct of the quantum feng shui engine is the occasional dislocation of cause and effect. On entering the hotel, your intrepid reviewer suffered a terrible pain on his forehead, followed by the swift development of a sizable lump. I was informed by a helpful member of staff that I would encounter the cause at some point during my stay. Sure enough, that evening, bending to retrieve an errant sock, I bashed my head violently against my bedroom table and felt not a thing…

The Hotel Always, Tokyo

Mr Yohi

The Ecstatic

The Street of Lost Souls

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0C6QTVDM1
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ July 19, 2023
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1.5 MB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 383 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.8 out of 5 stars 11 ratings

About the author

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Simon Paul Woodward
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Simon Paul Woodward is a horror writer based in London, UK. He’s a member of the Horror Writers Association (HWA) and the British Fantasy Society (BFS) and has won the BFS short story competition. His novels and short story collections have received plaudits from bestselling authors and his short fiction has appeared in magazines in the UK and USA.

You can visit him at www.simonpaulwoodward.com

Customer reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
11 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2023
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    If you're a fan of some of the more twisted, sick, and ingenious episodes of Black Mirror you'll love this new novel by Simon Woodward.

    Welcome to a twisted, dystopian world in which genetically modified pigs and sherbet skeletons battle it out, as pawns for a mega corporation with insidious control over the world.

    Pill dreams are the updated soma of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, designed to keep a population placid: a kind of augmented virtual reality which allows you, among other things, to "meet a sexy celebrity for an illicit lunchtime of lust".

    But read the small print: "All Pill Dreams may lead to death, disease, disability, mental health issues, sexual deviance or impotence. Please enjoy pill dreams responsibly." This is a classic example of the black wit which runs through this disturbing, but highly amusing and darkly entertaining new novel.

    When you've awoken from your pill dream, try "confabulatory cuisine": a step beyond the live lobster bar: here animated animals invite you to eat them. Our main character Abraham is pursued by a chicken "squeezing its breasts, inviting him to imagine how juicy they were."

    Another customer "puffing on a cigar that produced smoke dollar signs" is quizzing a lamb "wearing a pink dress and sitting on a high-backed chair" on her diet before deciding whether or not to eat her. Oh yes, and the agneau is French-speaking, naturally...

    One of my favourite sections of the book is the story of how Candyland was invented as an independent state built in response to a new wonder drug in which people could eat everything they wanted without putting on weight (until they withered away and died, but that was a hidden side effect not envisaged by the inventors).

    Streets are paved not with gold but sugar, toffee and all things sweet. "Candy people moved into these cities, filling the roles of tour guides, bellboys, hostesses and entertainers... the candies would put on a juggling extravaganza, show you around their village and then invite you into their home to dine on their children."

    A futuristic playground for a human used to having it all and eating it: why does this make me think of Saudi Arabia and their plans for the mega city of Neom?

    There are glimpses of Artificial Intelligence, and guess what, those glimpses are not encouraging: Abraham is slung back through history to join a group of pig soldiers, who like the sweet people are fitted with AI chips which go horribly wrong, resulting in the Candyland wars.

    "The assault had foundered for a moment- dismembered and decapitated candy people, lying in puddles of syrup and jam, covered the ground in front of the wall, the sickly smell of burnt sugar filled the air."

    One of the most disturbing elements of this war are the two-faced Straitjackets, a typically Woodwardian twist on reality, in this case human shields.

    "One hideous face with a vividly animated, huge mouth was situated on their chest and then a normal human face, where a human face should be, surrounded by a balaclava of candy. The real faces were screaming... Abraham could hear the screams of the closest straitjacket: 'Please shoot, please shoot'."

    The most terrifying aspect of all this is we see the story through the eyes of Abraham, in search of his dead wife (or is she still alive?) and renegade son.

    He returns to a past where he knows how the story is going to end, but unlike your typical superhero, he can do nothing to change the course of history, or save his newfound friends and protectors like the heroic pig soldier Sergeant Boise from their terrible fate.

    Woodward has long been a superb writer of fiction and short stories for teenagers and young adults, but this should appeal to mature horror and SF fans and, with its clever nods to Huxley and Orwell, deserves to bring him a whole new audience.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on September 23, 2023
    Format: Paperback
    Dear reader, put on your safety belt, set up your safety net, put on your lucky socks and dive deep into the wonderfuly crazy and dangerous world that Simon Paul Woodward created for your reading pleasure.

    As Halloween draws near and dark winter nights crawl in, this absolute treat will keep you good company while you are nailed to your reading seat.

    Enter the world of Abraham Keen. A world under attack.
    The all-powerful tech-conglomerate, House of Never has abducted his estranged son and liquidated his crusading charity.

    Now he's on the run from their agents, fleeing the corrupt politics of Old York to the permanently frozen city state of Venice, onto the Candyland War and the Commonwealth of Swine, Tokyo's exit-less Hotel Always and a never-ending street populated by digital refugees.

    He tumbles through cartoonishly distorted worlds searching for answers.

    Why does House of Never want to destroy
    him? Can he trust his fractured memories? And is his quest for the truth causing reality to unravel at the seams?"

    Dear reader, from the very moment you get your hands on this truly wonderful, inventive and dark read, you get immersed into a world of wonders. Correction, worlds of wonders.

    The writing is beautiful and inventive, the style unique and beautifully cinematic. Thought it is not horror, the author managed to blend beautifully an array of genres that stretch from high fantasy to dystopian and from steampunk to thriller making this a phenomenal read begging to be made into a movie (like most of the author's stories).

    This is by far, one of the most exciting books I've read in 2023 so far. Once again the author has delivered a masterpiece in the form of a modern fable. One that I will definitely re-read veeeery soon.

Top reviews from other countries

  • Mr Wood
    5.0 out of 5 stars Five stars..from a brilliant writer.
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 2, 2023
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    I am still dipping my toes into the literally fiction pool, finding out what works for me and what doesn’t. Books like a King of Cartoons are definitely my cup of tea and you won’t be disappointed with this imaginative read. Buy it now..
  • Fink Nottle
    5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended sci-fi romp
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 5, 2023
    Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
    A layered, bleak but comic, rollercoaster ride where the lines between the real (if it exists) and virtual realities are criss-crossed and blurred. Highly recommended…and the pigs are a real treat!
  • Elizabeth Joan Russell
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must read!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 2, 2023
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    I loved this book. It’s bursting with ideas, super-fast paced and blackly comic. It’d make a great TV show or movie!
  • avidreader
    5.0 out of 5 stars Truly inventive - a terrific read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 23, 2023
    Format: KindleVerified Purchase
    Mind boggling storytelling from Simon Paul Woodward. The inventiveness in ‘A King of Cartoons’ is off the scale: murderous candies, soldier pigs, not to mention four dimensional Feng Shui - all set in a rollercoaster of a plot that keeps the reader guessing and slightly off-balance throughout. A terrific read!

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