Finding love is not, nor has it ever been, an easy thing. As Lysander says in Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, “The course of true love never did run smooth.” There’s a reason why there is an abundance of online dating and hook-up sites, and everyone always seems to be searching for someone to be with, whether it’s for (hopefully) a lifetime or just for a few pleasurable hours. Finding love becomes even more complicated when many people equate love with sex, and further problematic still for people who identify as Asexual or “Ace”, as they may have little to no interest in having sex, even though they may long for emotionally intimate relationships.
“All’s Fair in Love & Dare” follows college students Blair Novak and Atlas Huxley. Blair and Atlas first met as children living in the same trailer park, and now attend the same college together. Atlas is now roommates with his BFF, Blair’s younger brother Shiloh, who is Trans and also takes medication including mood stabilizers to help keep his manic-depression under control; Atlas frequently has to act as Shiloh’s minder, since drugs and alcohol do not mix well with Shiloh’s medications and Shiloh has a tendency to skip taking his medication as he often wants to drink to excess. Blair is a Protector through-and-through, taking classes while working himself to the bone with extra jobs to pay for his younger brother’s medications, therapy, and college expenses while also taking care of bills and repairs for his abusive, ungrateful, homophobic and transphobic father who seems to be completely unconcerned about the well-being of either of his children. Blair is also Asexual/Ace, and is part of the campus-wide Alphabet Mafia Alliance, an anonymous Queer support group hotline that people can call with questions. Atlas has been questioning his own sexuality and suspects that he might be Ace, so he calls the support group hotline with his questions and ends up anonymously talking to another Ace, who turns out to be Blair. The two men start a series of anonymous “thought experiments” together to allow Atlas (who is a virgin) to explore his feelings about also possibly being Ace. At the same time, stirrings of an asexual romantic relationship are also beginning between Blair and Atlas outside of their anonymous phone conversations. What will happen when their already-blurring anonymous intimate attraction and their real-life intimate attraction turn out to actually be the same thing? Add in a sexy dare from Shiloh to Atlas to help get him laid and things between all of the roommates and friends just may come to a head…
This is a complicated, sometimes messy book about complicated, sometimes messy people, and it’s an amazing, well-written, and unusual read. I really enjoy that there are so many “unconventional” relationships touched on in this book, including completely platonic non-sexual cuddling and non-sexual kissing between roommates, Ace relationships, and even a brief mention of a taboo relationship between related side characters. To be honest, I have always wondered how an author might go about representing a relationship between two Ace main characters, as this is not something that is often written about, and this book does not disappoint; it’s very interesting to see a relationship grow and develop without having sex play the most prominent role in the relationship for either man, instead becoming a much more emotional, and perhaps deeper, intimate relationship as a result. Readers should note that there is a character who struggles with manic-depression/bipolar disorder and drug and alcohol abuse, and another character who struggles with self-harm; there is also an abusive homophobic and transphobic parent. I found it very refreshing to finally find a book that honestly and realistically examines what it might be like to explore an emotionally complex asexual dynamic and relationship with main characters who are both Ace. There are definitely some difficult, intense moments to work through, but it is really satisfying when Blair and Atlas finally learn to accept themselves and each other just the way they are. Finding love may not be easy, but finding another person who understands and accepts you makes the journey all the sweeter.
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on September 16, 2023
Top reviews from other countries
- Zoë MirandaReviewed in Canada on September 25, 2023
A complex, heart-wrenching, story with heat and heart.
- DohntbmReviewed in Australia on December 23, 2023
All's fair In Love And Dare : By Rikki Leighton
