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Words That Change Minds: The 14 Patterns for Mastering the Language of Influence Paperback – April 1, 2019

4.3 out of 5 stars 1,899 ratings

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How to master Influencing Language and get what you want, without manipulating.

Do you work and live with people who are hard to convince? Who dismiss ideas before even thinking about them?

Do you want to know how to influence people, without being manipulative?

Want to find out how people get motivated, make decisions, to be more persuasive with everyone?

Learn how to use the right words with the right people, and get through the “Communication Wall”

Have you ever felt like you were talking to a wall? Well, that’s a very accurate description of what’s happening when 2 people are communicating! Everyone has a metaphorical “Communication Wall” around them to protect them from “bad people”. But in all of our walls, we have left some bricks out, to let the “good people” communicate with us.

The problem in communication is not the wall, because the wall is standard equipment that everyone has. The problem comes from the holes where the bricks have been left out. The holes come in specific shapes, unique to each person.

And if you want to communicate with that person, you need to use words, and behavior that fit exactly with the holes in the other person’s wall.

Shelle Rose Charvet, best-selling author of Words That Change Minds shows you how to match your language to people around you (in your work, with your colleagues, your boss and your clients, and at home, with your partner, family and other relationships).

Learn the persuasion psychology, spark interest and enthusiasm and get what you want.

In Words That Change Minds you will:

- Learn the influence science and practice.
- Discover the ways people unconsciously get motivated, process information and make decisions.
- Decode any communication problem and solve it.
- Find out how to pry open mental space in even the most closed of minds.
- Create rapport and credibility with anyone.
- Avoid inadvertently saying or doing the wrong thing.
-Get practical applications for sales, marketing, recruiting, negotiation, teaching, training, communication at work, conflict resolution.
- Increase your impact in interpersonal communication, teamwork, and in mass communication.

Words That Change Minds is based on the Language and Behavior Profile, (LAB Profile® for short) – a powerful tool that enables you to understand, predict and influence behavior by decoding the language people use.

You can directly influence people one-on-one, in groups and even in mass communication by customizing your language to match their subconscious Motivation Patterns.
Increase your impact, improve relationships and reduce conflicts, by using the Words That Change Minds.

The NEW 3rd edition of Words That Change Minds has more than 50% new material; examples, research, advanced applications, with 7 completely new chapters, including:
1. How to Complete a LAB Profile®
2. Conversational Coaching with the LAB Profile®
3. Understanding and Working with Combination Patterns
4. Solving Communication Problems
5. Influencing Strategies and Techniques
6. The LAB Profile® of Conflict
7. LAB Profile® Inventions and Tools, and more.


Interested? Just scroll up and get your copy today!

About the author:

Shelle Rose Charvet is a bestselling author and the international expert on Influencing Language. The earlier editions of, “Words That Change Minds” are international bestsellers, available in 15 languages. Shelle has been researching and teaching for over 35 years and is known for her advanced techniques used to enhance rapport, trust, credibility, and influence.
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Editorial Reviews

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"The shift in power to the customer is now a certainty. In her engaging book, Shelle lays out precisely what's going on and how to think about it." Seth Godin - Author of Tribes
"Words that Change Minds is a remarkable book. Shelle illustrates, in clear language, those factors that will motivate people. She demonstrates how to communicate, how to sell, how to manage, all that while respecting people at a deep level. Her examples, often highly amusing, will allow you to recognize those around you, and to know what to do about them." Jack Canfield - Co-author of Chickens Soup for the Soul

"After reading Shelle's book, I asked her to train my management, customer service representatives, consultants and sales staff. Not only does it work in achieving bottom line results in business, she also taught my wife and I how to communicate at a new level. Shelle is the master of influential communication. I strongly urge all business leaders to read this book ... it could change your life!" Richard A. Grehalva, Vice President, CSC Health Care Systems, Birmingham, Alabama
"Shortly after our visit, the customer sent a 1 million Euro order to our subsidiary and has placed an order for 2 million to start off the year. Using the tips Shelle so beautifully and vividly "taught" me, helped me close this deal." Crystal Mccollough, Account Manager, Germany
"A giant thank you Shelle for a fantastic book. The feedback has been excellent. I've already received emails and calls from the team explaining how they've used the material which is probably the best feedback we could get! Your book has certainly been our biggest success in term of buy-in and enthusiasm. You left no doubt in anyone's mind that you're the LAB Profile® Queen". Steve McGrath, National Vice President, Dynamic Funds

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bloomanity LLC (April 1, 2019)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 359 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1733670300
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1733670302
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 out of 5 stars 1,899 ratings

About the author

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Shelle Rose Charvet
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Shelle Rose Charvet is a bestselling author and the international expert on Influencing Language. Her first book, “Words That Change Minds” is an international bestseller, available in 15 languages.

Shelle has been researching and teaching for over 35 years and she is known for her advanced techniques used to enhance rapport, trust, credibility, and influence. Her methods enable people to prevent conflicts, avoid stalemates in sales, successfully run high-stakes negotiations and presentations to help everyone get what they need.

Organizations in over 30 countries worldwide call on her expertise on the hidden subconscious communication processes: what drives people to do (or not do) things, outside of their awareness.

She founded the Institute for Influence and created programs for women managers and leaders that they can do both individually and in teams.

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
1,899 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides a helpful framework for self-understanding and appreciate its excellent overview of key points. Moreover, the book receives positive feedback for its readability, with customers describing it as a profound read and praising its excellent NLP communication principles. Additionally, customers find the content easy to understand and apply, with one customer noting it provides actionable guidance for conversations. They also value the pattern knowledge, with one review highlighting how it enables readers to see their own patterns.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

113 customers mention "Insight"113 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful, providing a helpful framework for self-understanding and useful information, with one customer noting how it applies psychology to real-life situations.

"...if you want to not only improve your communication and understanding of influence but also if you want to avoid difficult conversations and ever..." Read more

"...I appreciated the detail and many of the styles were eye-opening. You might notice some familiarity with some aspects of personality tests...." Read more

"Shelle's book provides thoughtful, specific, actionable guidance to implement in your conversations, coaching sessions, presentations and even..." Read more

"...is that it is not only content-rich and easy to understand it is practical and easy to implement." Read more

69 customers mention "Readability"53 positive16 negative

Customers find the book readable and engaging, describing it as a fantastic and profound read that's worth the effort, with one customer noting it's like taking a good class.

"...to bringing the LAB Profile® to life in this book in an easy-to-read and easy-to-apply format...." Read more

"...I found this book really interesting -- I didn't anticipate the depth it would go into...." Read more

"Wow, Shelle did it again! Combining wit, humor, and incredible content, Shelle guides us into the world of Influence by showing us step-by-step how..." Read more

"...Well done and well written." Read more

38 customers mention "Communication skills"38 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's communication skills, particularly its focus on NLP principles, and how it helps readers make greater impact in conversations. One customer notes the actionable guidance provided, while another highlights the importance of interpreting body and verbal signals.

"...Especially if you want to not only improve your communication and understanding of influence but also if you want to avoid difficult conversations..." Read more

"Shelle's book provides thoughtful, specific, actionable guidance to implement in your conversations, coaching sessions, presentations and even..." Read more

"...Well done and well written." Read more

"...It's like taking a good class. The Author is very pleasant." Read more

14 customers mention "Ease of application"14 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to understand and apply, appreciating its simplicity.

"...the LAB Profile® to life in this book in an easy-to-read and easy-to-apply format...." Read more

"...Her examples and frameworks are well-honed and simple to remember...." Read more

"...I love about this work is that it is not only content-rich and easy to understand it is practical and easy to implement." Read more

"...This book is scientific, which I appreciate, while also being very accessable. It really covers a lot...." Read more

9 customers mention "Pattern knowledge"9 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the patterns in the book, finding them interesting and easy to follow, with one customer noting how they enabled them to see their own patterns.

"...Two things stand out about your book: the apps in the pattern combinations, and the convincing current and excellent examples...." Read more

"...a few years ago and quickly became a practic-er of these easy to follow patterns...." Read more

"...spot the language patterns people are using, she also helps the reader adopt the patterns in order to communicate...." Read more

"...There are links and pictures of forms to use as well. Thank you so much." Read more

VERY extensive resource on mastering the language of influence!!
5 out of 5 stars
VERY extensive resource on mastering the language of influence!!
Wow! This is an extensive resource! As you can tell from the table of contents, this book covers a lot of information. The main premise of the book is that everyone has their own "influencing language", and "once you know a person's patterns, you can tailor your language so that it has maximum impact for that person". Using the info in this book, you can more easily motivate and influence other people, reduce conflicts, and improve your relationships. Some of the concepts in the book can be challenging to apply - it will definitely take some practice to implement all the strategies. I highly recommend this book. Please mark if you find my review helpful. Thank you so much!
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2019
    There really are very few books that should be read by almost "everyone," yet this is one of those books. Especially if you want to not only improve your communication and understanding of influence but also if you want to avoid difficult conversations and ever have to worry about how to motivate someone again.

    When you read the book you feel like you've been in a training room with someone who knows exactly how to teach the material to you with real-world examples and application of the material that you can test out immediately. Shelle brilliantly lays out the LAB profile in this book so everyone can learn it and apply the strategies in their everyday lives or jobs.

    Want to learn how people make decisions and how you can influence this in the future? It's in the book.

    Want to learn how to motivate your staff, your children, your spouse? It's in the book.

    Want to learn how to avoid difficult conversations? It's in the book.

    Want to learn how to persuade even the most difficult sales prospect or employee? It's in the book.

    The field of NLP is better because of Shelle's masterful contribution to bringing the LAB Profile® to life in this book in an easy-to-read and easy-to-apply format.

    I'm an NLP Master Practitioner and NLP trainer, and I've consumed a lot of books, material, and courses on communication and influence. Words that Change Minds is at the TOP of my list of recommendations.

    I'm also an entrepreneur and I can't think of a better book to recommend to my colleagues who want to know how they can have more influence and impact in their daily communication with their team and clients.

    My advice? Don't read this book. Study it. Give it out as a gift to those you care about.
    99 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2021
    This was a very in-depth capture of analyzing people's styles and determining what words you should use to affect their behavior. I appreciated the detail and many of the styles were eye-opening. You might notice some familiarity with some aspects of personality tests. I found this book really interesting -- I didn't anticipate the depth it would go into. This is not a casual change your words and start affecting people -- this would entail a more focused effort to really start to examine people's styles and then use the appropriate language style to work with them.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 25, 2021
    Shelle's book provides thoughtful, specific, actionable guidance to implement in your conversations, coaching sessions, presentations and even negotiations. Her examples and frameworks are well-honed and simple to remember. Her 3 Away From, 2 Toward, 1 Away From Reminder model is something I'm going to keep close at hand.

    While the book itself I'd say can be cut about 30% (pretty standard compared to other lauded others), her words are extremely valuable. Pages 200-275 can be life-changing or even save you from going to get your Masters degree.

    My advice is to gloss over what doesn't resonate or connect and go really deep in the areas that do as unlike 90% of authors, Shelle has information in here to extract and implement in your life.

    Well done Shelle, the amount of information I'm extracting from your book is on par with Robert Cialdini and therefore more than anyone else.
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2020
    I had high expectations for this book but unfortunately it fell short. It’s mainly a promotional vehicle for the author’s “LAB Profile” framework and her myriad personal consultancy businesses.

    The author begins the book with references to NLP - the pseudoscience / psychotherapeutic methodology from the 1970s (long championed by Tony Robbins and others), but seemed to diverge from that theme after the first couple of chapters.

    Each chapter is a repetitive formula of various Myers-Briggs type personality profiles - feeling, sensing, judging - (mixed with light NLP concepts around language) that assumes how someone interprets the world. Are they a generalist or a specialist, are they motivated by change or sameness, are they external or internal, etc.. The author then attempts to construct a system of templates for communicating with (and influencing) different kinds of people in various circumstances based on their personal modality. But she is so eager to trademark and brand her one-dimensional frameworks that it loses meaning after a while.

    I had studied Bandler and Grinder’s original research on NLP many years ago and found much of their findings intriguing and worthy of further study (although there has been subsequent research over the years that challenge and debunk many of their findings on language, mental “state” and influencing). This author seems to use the basic tenets of NLP (without some of the deeper insights) as a foundation for her off-the-shelf communications formula.

    Although I found some of the author’s ideas illuminating, the illumination was obscured by her overwrought and repetitive templates. She attempts to reduce and categorize complex human behaviors into simplistic, predictive, grammatical algorithms - interesting from an academic stand point but not very practical or realistic. And although l do believe personality types can predict certain patterns of communication and behavior (and vice-versa), for me, this author fell short in establishing her unified influencing theory.
    9 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2019
    Wow, Shelle did it again! Combining wit, humor, and incredible content, Shelle guides us into the world of Influence by showing us step-by-step how to become masters in the art of Persuasion.

    Building upon her first work Shelle has included 50% new content to create a powerhouse of teachings tools and trainings to understand and to implement for greater success in our conversations and our relations, making this book a “must-have” even if you already own the first book!

    What I love about this work is that it is not only content-rich and easy to understand it is practical and easy to implement.

Top reviews from other countries

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  • Karla
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book in perfect condition!
    Reviewed in Japan on March 13, 2023
    Was very satisfied with how fast I got this book. And the best part - it’s in excellent condition. Enjoying every page! Thank you for the prompt service.
  • A. Richards
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great Update to an Already Superb Book
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 25, 2019
    In a nutshell, Words That Change Minds 3rd edition is a book that holds the secret to understand what motivates and persuades both you and other people, how you and other people are different and what you can do about that to improve your influence.

    Words That Change Minds 3rd edition, written by Shelle Rose Charvet, is and NLP and influence trainer who has been constantly refining her skill for more than 20 years.

    I bought the first two editions and thought there wouldn’t be much new in this edition. Boy was I wrong! Shelle has included much of the material for products she’s charged for in the past. These were audio products that I’d got a lot out of, and now she’s incorporated these into this new edition.

    Why should you read this book?

    Because everyone needs to occasionally persuade someone else to their point of view - some more often than others. Whether you're a mum with kids at home or a sales director you will find this book invaluable. This book gives you the insight to communicate with other people in a way that's best for them - not necessarily for you!

    If you use communication or persuasion professionally, this book is a must for you.

    Shelle has built on the work of Rodger Bailey, who in turn built on the work of Leslie Cameron-Bandler, to make what was a powerful but hard to understand area of communication so much easier to grasp and use.

    What makes this book special as opposed to others is the way Shelle presents it and gently guides you through the material. I've had a handful of excellent trainers (some of the greats of NLP) try to present this material and each has fallen short of what Shelle manages.

    Something significant Words That Change Minds 3rd edition gives that you might not recognize at first is, in a word, universality. You can use it at home as well as at work. It works equally well with unruly teens as with difficult clients.

    I’ve said this is universal – but is there anyone that this book is NOT for? Well, I suppose that this is NOT for anyone who doesn't communicate with anyone, ever. Look, even prisoners in solitary confinement have to communicate sometimes! It is for anyone who has to communicate with another human being. You can make your communication more effective, more motivating and easier.

    The thing I love about it most is it works, even when you think it might not. Often all it takes is a sentence or two. The LAB Profile is therefore a great tool to have in your professional grab-bag of go-to tools.

    Are there any downsides to the LAB Profile? I should tell you that there are 14 behaviour and motivation patterns. Some are more prevalent and useful than others. To be most effective, you do have to learn to spot them and how to use them.

    But that's not a big deal, at least from my perspective, because Shelle guides you through each of the patterns and allows you to understand how they work naturally. Only someone who has struggled - and failed - with learning 60 Meta Programs that cover the same ground will appreciate how much easier - and more effective - Shelle makes this.

    I have used the two previous editions of this book to help clients with career advice through gaining insights into their preferences. I've used it in coaching, in presentations, in training design, in influencing client decisions, facilitation and more. I would not be without it.

    This is in effect an influence training course in book format. And of course, it’s just the price of a book, for a wealth of influence resources that, if you read, you’ll probably use for the rest of your professional and domestic life.

    When you compare The LAB Profile to other persuasion models, many are complex and others are only useful in formal selling environments. The LAB Profile works wherever people are! It works for 1:1 and group communication. It can be used very successfully in career guidance. It's been used to diagnose company cultural problems and change them.

    If you use communication and persuasion in your position, I’d grab this book now - as it's just been released and the Kindle edition is currently free. So I'd grab that now, then get the hardback, as you'll want to refer to it often!
    One person found this helpful
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  • Katinka
    5.0 out of 5 stars nützliche Tools , um eigene Erfolgstrategien oder die anderer besser zu verstehen
    Reviewed in Germany on November 23, 2024
    Ich habe mich bereits tiefergehend mit NLP beschäftigt und dieses Buch hebt mein Wissen auf ein anderes Level. Das Buch habe ich zwar noch nicht zu Ende gelesen, habe aber bereits jetzt ein tiefergehendes Verständnis , wie unterschiedlich Motivation bei jedem Einzelnen entstehen kann.
    Es bleibt nicht nur Theorie, man kommt auch ins Tun, denn ganz konkrete Arbeitsanweisungen und Arbeitsblätter helfen bei der Umsetzung des Gelernten.
    Absolute Empfehlung !
    Report
  • Zahid
    5.0 out of 5 stars Master Influencing Language using The Words That Change Minds
    Reviewed in Canada on March 26, 2019
    Words influence and affect us in many different ways. They operate on our conscious and subconscious level. They have the incredible power of changing lives either for good or bad.

    We all understand the power of words and the significance of using the power words. However, a very few of us know how to make the most the words in our personal and professional lives.

    Shelle shows us how to use the power of the words in your favor. At the same time she distinguishes between influencing and manipulating.

    She wants us to understand how to exert a positive impact on people we interact through understanding what motivates them, how they think and how they make decisions.

    She teaches us to pay attention to how people talk when they answer, rather than what they talk about. It helps us hear and pick up the patterns people use without having to actually ask the questions. This, in turn, empowers us to use the Influencing Language that is just right for the situation.

    In fact, she wants us to be ethical communicators using the tools and techniques described in this book. She provides us with the communication tools that enable us to think and analyze our day to day communication in a new light.

    By using these skills correctly, we can certainly use communication as an effective and amazing tool to better understand and help people.
  • Stefano Ferruggiara
    5.0 out of 5 stars Una grande formatrice, un libro da non perdere!
    Reviewed in Italy on March 28, 2019
    Non solo ho letto tutti i suoi libri (quindi anche questa edizione non poteva sfuggirmi) mi sono formato da lei e sia il libro che i suoi corsi sono indispensabili per il proprio business ma anche nella propria vita. Libro da leggere, rileggere e ogni suo corso.. da fare!

    Not only I read all her books (so this edition could not escape me) I trained with her and both the book and her courses are essential for her business but also in her life. Book to read, reread and each of its courses .. to do!
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    Stefano Ferruggiara
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Una grande formatrice, un libro da non perdere!

    Reviewed in Italy on March 28, 2019
    Non solo ho letto tutti i suoi libri (quindi anche questa edizione non poteva sfuggirmi) mi sono formato da lei e sia il libro che i suoi corsi sono indispensabili per il proprio business ma anche nella propria vita. Libro da leggere, rileggere e ogni suo corso.. da fare!

    Not only I read all her books (so this edition could not escape me) I trained with her and both the book and her courses are essential for her business but also in her life. Book to read, reread and each of its courses .. to do!
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